The Gottman Method is a type of therapy by Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Julie Schwartz-Gottman, to help couples strengthen their relationships. The method consists of four decades’ worth of research on the nature of marriage. Including what makes some marriages work better than others. This article will introduce you to this therapy. So that you know what to expect if you’re considering it as an option for your relationship!
Contents
What Is Gottman Therapy?
The Gottman Method is a type of couples therapy that helps partners improve their communication skills. This as a result helps them understand each other better. The method was developed by Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Julie Schwartz-Gottman, after spending four decades researching marriage. And what makes some marriages more successful than others.
When Gottman Therapy Is Resorted To?
The Gottman Method is used primarily for married or engaged couples with children under 18 years old who are having difficulty communicating effectively with each other.
How Does Gottman Therapy Work?
The Gottman Method is based on the idea that relationships are like ecosystems. Just as in nature, there are ebbs and flows in a relationship; sometimes things are good and sometimes they’re bad. The goal of this therapy is to help couples learn how to identify and manage the negative cycles in their relationship. So that they can eventually return to a positive flow.
- When using this therapy, partners will attend sessions together, and also they have to complete homework assignments between appointments.
What To Expect In Gottman Therapy Session?
During Gottman therapy, partners will meet with a therapist to discuss their relationship and how they interact with each other. The therapist will help them understand the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These are four destructive behaviors that can lead to the end of a relationship if left unchecked. These horsemen are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Partners will also learn how to create a Love Map, which is a map of their partner’s world that they can use to better understand them. This includes things like their partner’s favorite foods, colors, and activities.
- If you decide to pursue therapy with your partner, you can expect to learn how to manage conflict more effectively and identify the warning signs of negative interactions before they happen.
Is Gottman Therapy Effective?
The Gottman Method is one of the most successful therapies available. And there is a great deal of evidence to suggest that it is effective in helping couples improve their communication skills and overall relationship satisfaction.
- A 1993 study published in the Journal of Family Communication found that 77 percent of couples who completed this method improved their relationships.
What To Look For In A Gottman Method Couples Therapist?
There are a lot of resources for Gottman therapists, including an online directory that can help you find a therapist in your area. You may want to look into what certifications they have received and how much experience they have with the method before scheduling an appointment with them. It’s also important to make sure that you feel comfortable talking with them. You can also ask your potential therapist if he/she has experience in working with couples and is familiar with the method.
NOTE: When looking for a therapist to work with you on your relationship using The Gottman Method, look for one that has training from The Gottman Institute.
Professionals’ View On Gottman Therapy
Although some mental health professionals may disagree with the effectiveness of this therapy. Many others continue to use it and believe that their clients benefit from working on their communication skills. You need to do your research when choosing a therapist. Ask friends who they’ve seen in the past and what they think about him/her!
NOTE: Most marriage therapists view The Gottman Method as a beneficial type of couples therapy that can help partners resolve their issues and improve communication skills.
Limitations Of Gottman therapy
Although this therapy is highly effective, it is not a cure-all for every issue that a couple may be facing. For instance, this method is not a good fit for couples experiencing domestic violence or substance abuse problems. In some cases, partners may need to seek out other forms of therapy as well.
Criticism Of Gottman Therapy
- Some mental health professionals have criticized this method, saying that couples who attend sessions together don’t learn how to work on their relationship until they go home and practice what they’ve learned by themselves.
- Some professionals criticize couples therapists who use Dr. John’s method because their method has not been tested scientifically.
Case Study
One of the most famous case studies on this method involved a married couple who attended sessions with Julie Schwartz-Gottman. In just six months, John and his wife were able to resolve any issues they had been having in their marriage.
Conclusion
The Gottman Method is an effective couples therapy that can be used to help partners better understand each other and improve their communication skills. It consists of four decades’ worth of research on marriage, which makes it helpful for anyone looking to strengthen their relationship with another person! Remember that this method is not a cure-all for every issue, so you must prepare to do some work on your own between sessions.
If you’re considering it as an option for your relationship, be sure to ask your potential therapist if he/she is familiar with it and has experience in working with couples. Also, if you’re looking for more information on the Gottman Method, be sure to check out The Gottman Institute’s website! They have tons of resources and information available about the Gottman Method, what to expect when using it, how it works, and more. They also have a therapist search feature so you can find someone in your area who is competent in this method!
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