When you go through a breakup, it’s normal to feel a range of emotions. One of the most common is anger. Anger can manifest in many different ways, and it can be hard to know how to deal with it. In this blog post, we will discuss the three types of anger that often occur after a breakup, and some signs to recognize it. Also, we will discuss some tips on how to deal with each type of anger.
- 1 Defining Anger After A Breakup
- 2 Three Types Of Anger After A Breakup
- 3 Five Stages Of Grief After A Breakup
- 4 How To Deal With Anger After A Breakup?
- 5 Conclusion
- 6 A Word From Mantra Care
Defining Anger After A Breakup
Anger after a breakup is very common. People often feel anger after a breakup even if they were the ones who initiated it. In fact, this situation seems to be so common that there is even a name for it: post-breakup anger. Moreover, anger is just one of the many emotions people experience after a breakup.
According to studies, anger is one of the five stages people go through after a breakup. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. So, if you’re feeling angry after your breakup, don’t worry, you’re not alone.
However, usual anger and anger after a breakup are two different things. Anger after a breakup is usually more intense and lasts longer. Moreover, it’s often accompanied by other negative emotions such as sadness, anxiety, and guilt. So, at first, it is important to understand the anger after a breakup.
Three Types Of Anger After A Breakup
There are three types of anger after a breakup. These are:
One: Displaced Anger
Displaced anger is when you take your frustration out on someone who had nothing to do with the original situation. For example, if you’re angry at your ex for breaking up with you, you might take it out on a random person by yelling at them or giving them dirty looks. In fact, you might not even realize you’re doing it.
Moreover, there are some common signs if you are experiencing displaced anger, these include:
- Might find yourself overreacting to small things
- Might lash out at people for no reason
- Feel like you’re constantly angry and on edge
- Feel like blaming yourself or others for everything
If you find yourself experiencing any of these signs, it’s important to try and take a step back and figure out what’s really going on. This type of anger is not going to go away on its own and will only hold you back from moving forward. In fact, displaced anger after a breakup is one of the main reasons why people have a hard time moving on.
Two: Passive-Aggressive Anger
Passive-aggressive anger is when you try to hurt someone indirectly instead of directly expressing your anger. For example, if you’re angry at your ex for breaking up with you, you might start rumors about them or spread gossip. You might also give them the silent treatment or be deliberately uncooperative.
Passive-aggressive anger is often a result of feeling powerless. When you can’t directly express your anger, you might lash out in indirect ways. This type of anger can be especially damaging to relationships because it’s often difficult to resolve. If you’re feeling passive-aggressive anger, it’s important to try to express your feelings directly.
Three: Redirected Anger
Redirected anger is when you channel your anger towards a more positive outlet. For example, you might take up a new hobby or sport to help you work out your frustration. Alternatively, you might choose to volunteer your time to a worthy cause. This can be an extremely productive way to deal with your anger, as it allows you to focus on something positive while still working through your emotions.
Moreover, there are some signs that your anger might be redirected. If you find yourself lashing out at innocent people or objects, it could be a sign that your anger is misplaced. Additionally, if you find yourself obsessively thinking about the person who wronged you, it could be a sign that you need to redirect your energy.
So, these three types of anger are the most common ones people experience after a breakup. It’s important to remember that it’s normal to feel anger after a breakup, but it’s how you deal with it that counts. If you find yourself struggling to cope with your anger, it might be worth seeking professional help.
Five Stages Of Grief After A Breakup
There are five generally recognized stages of grief after a breakup: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
When you’re in the throes of a breakup, it can be hard to see things clearly. But understanding the Five Stages Of Grief can actually help you get through your heartbreak faster. Here’s how:
At first, it’s hard to believe that the relationship is really over. You might find yourself hoping that it’s all just a bad dream and that things will go back to the way they were. But denial only delays the inevitable and makes the pain worse in the long run. In fact, it’s often the first stage of grief after a breakup.
After the initial shock wears off, you might start to feel angry. And that’s OK. It’s natural to feel frustrated, resentful, and even humiliated after a break-up. You might find yourself lashing out at your ex, even if they didn’t do anything wrong. It’s important to let yourself feel your anger, but you don’t want to get stuck in this stage. Otherwise, you might say or do something you regret.
In the bargaining stage, you might find yourself trying to make deals with the universe. For example, you might promise to be a better person if only your ex would take you back. Or you might try to convince yourself that the breakup wasn’t really that bad. But bargaining is just another way of delaying the inevitable. And it won’t do anything to ease your pain.
After a while, the reality of the situation starts to sink in and you might start to feel depressed. You might lose interest in things that you used to enjoy, have trouble sleeping, and eat more or less than usual. It’s normal to feel down after a breakup, but you don’t want to get stuck in this stage. If you find yourself struggling, it might be time to seek professional help.
The final stage of grief is acceptance. This doesn’t mean that you’re happy about the breakup or that you’ve forgotten about your ex. It just means that you’ve come to terms with what happened and you’re ready to move on. Once you reach this stage, you can start to rebuild your life and focus on the future.
Breakups are never easy, but understanding the Five Stages Of Grief can help you get through them. Just remember to give yourself time to heal and be patient with yourself. You will get through this.
These are just a few examples, but if you find yourself exhibiting any of these behaviors, it’s a good sign that you’re in the acceptance stage of anger. And that’s a good thing! It means you’re one step closer to moving on.
How To Deal With Anger After A Breakup?
It is necessary to understand the different types of anger in order to deal with it in a healthy way. And after that, you will be able to develop a more positive outlook toward relationships. So, here are some tips to overcome your anger after a breakup:
It is the primary step in the journey of dealing with and overcoming anger. Awareness of your anger will help you understand the triggers and work on resolving the issues. In fact, this is more about exploring yourself and the real reason behind your anger. More often, we tend to displace our anger on others, and that makes the situation even worse. So, the first thing is to be aware of it.
Identify The Type Of Anger
There are different types of anger, and you need to identify which one is affecting you. It can be either primary or secondary anger. If it is primary, then it might be due to an unresolved issue from the past. And if it is secondary, then it is the result of the current situation. Also, identifying the type will eventually help you to find out the real reason for your anger.
Choose Your Response
After you have identified the type of anger, it is time to take control and choose your response. You can either act on it or let it go. If you think that acting on your anger will not lead to a productive outcome, then it is better to let it go. Also, you should remember that you have a choice in every situation. So, you must choose wisely.
Work On The Root Cause
Root causes are the triggers that lead to anger. And in order to deal with it, you need to work on the root cause. It can be anything from an unresolved issue to a stressful situation. Once you have identified the root cause, you can start working on it. Moreover, you can also talk to a therapist or counselor to get help in dealing with the root cause.
Develop A Positive Outlook
It is essential to develop a positive outlook toward relationships. Otherwise, you will end up feeling angry and resentful all the time. So, try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. Also, don’t forget to forgive yourself and the other person. Forgiving will help you to move on and develop a positive outlook. In fact, this is one of the most important tips to deal with anger after a breakup.
Talk It Out
Talking about your experiences and feelings can be really helpful. It will not only help you to understand your anger but also give you a chance to express it in a healthy way. So, find someone who can listen to you without judging or giving advice. And talk about everything that is making you angry. Moreover, you can try writing journals and sharing your experiences with a friend or therapist.
It is one of the best ways to deal with anger. Mindfulness will help you stay in the present moment and be aware of your thoughts and emotions. It will also help you control your reactions to different triggers. This includes several types, such as:
All of these techniques will help you to calm down and be more aware of your anger. In fact, mindfulness is one of the most effective ways to deal with any negative emotion. So, these are some tips overall that will help you to deal with anger after a breakup.
Remember, it is important to take things slow and be patient. Also, don’t forget to talk to a therapist if you need professional help. Lastly, keep in mind that you are not alone in this journey. There are many people who have gone through the same thing and come out stronger. So, you can do it too!
To conclude, anger after a breakup is a normal and natural response. However, it is important to be aware of the different types of anger so that you can deal with it in a constructive way. Remember, anger is not an excuse to act out in destructive or hurtful ways. In fact, dealing with your anger in a healthy way can be an important step in moving on from your breakup.
Moreover, it is essential to keep in mind that you are not alone in feeling this way. Many people go through similar experiences after a breakup. So, if you find yourself struggling to cope with your anger, reach out to a friend or therapist for support. Contact Mantra Care for more tips and tricks to heal your broken heart. Book your free consultation today to learn more!
A Word From Mantra Care
Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.