Emotional Invalidation – How to Deal?

emotional symptoms

Invalidation is a concept that is difficult to comprehend for many people. It’s not something that we can see or touch, but it has a powerful effect on the way we feel about ourselves and our relationships with others. In this article, you’ll learn what emotional invalidation is, why it happens, and how to deal with it in your own life.

What Is Emotional Invalidation?What Is Emotional Invalidation?

Emotional invalidation is a way of communicating to someone that their thoughts and feelings do not matter. It can happen when someone is not heard, or it could happen when they are unappreciated. It makes the person feel left out and lonely.

People who are emotionally invalidated may grow up feeling like they can’t trust their own emotions or intuition. This can lead to problems with self-esteem, confidence, and relationships.

Signs Of Emotional Invalidationsigns Of Emotional Invalidation

There are several signs that you may be dealing with an emotionally invalidating person.

  • First, they might not try to solve the problem. People want you to stop caring about something that has happened when they are upset. They tell you to forget it and move on when it makes them feel bad.
  • Second, they will always dismiss your feelings as unimportant or irrational even when you explain what’s bothering you in detail. The person won’t apologize to you because they feel like there is no reason why people should apologize when they are doing their job. Any attempt at empathy feels empty too; like apologizing without really understanding what or saying “I’m sorry” without meaning it.
  • Third, they will never take any ownership of their wrong actions and always try to pass the blame onto someone else. Some people might say that they were not rude to you. Or they might say that they did not do anything wrong to you, even if it is true that they did.
  • Fourth, they are often emotionally manipulative and use guilt trips as a way of controlling you. for example, “If you loved me, you would do this for me.” Or “I can’t believe that you would choose them over me.”
  • Fifth, they have no problem with using threats or intimidation tactics in order to get what they want – even if it’s something minor like borrowing your car for a few hours.


There are many possible causes of emotional invalidation. Some common causes include:

  • Physical or sexual abuse
  • Neglect or abandonment
  • Being raised in a dysfunctional family environment
  • Having a mental illness or developmental disability
  • Experiencing racism or prejudice
  • Trauma or loss
  • Having an insecure or unhealthy relationship with parents or guardians.
  • Also, parenting skills play a key role in the emotional development of children. If a child feels that his parents can’t protect him from a threat, then he might be afraid to leave the house.
  • If a child’s emotional needs are constantly dismissed or ignored by their parents, they may grow up feeling unworthy or “not good enough.” This can lead to emotional invalidation.

Risk factor Of Emotional InvalidationRisk factor Of Emotional Invalidation

There are some risks due to emotional invalidation, such as:

  • First, when someone constantly invalidates your emotions, you can start to doubt your own intuition and feelings. This can cause confusion and even depression because you might not know what is going on inside of you.
  • Second, chronic emotional invalidation often leads to a feeling of isolation. People who are being invalidated don’t feel good about themselves. They might not want to be around their friends or family members because they are afraid of hurting them.
  • Third, people who are emotionally invalidated often find it difficult to form healthy relationships as adults. People are scared to share their true selves with others. They are afraid that they won’t be listened to or understood by the people who love them.
  • People who are emotionally invalidated might turn to drug use or even suicide. They feel like they don’t have any other way to express themselves or get what they need.

However, if someone has ever said that you are not right about your thoughts and feelings, do not believe them. It is never too late to change the way you think about yourself.

Do Emotional Invalidation Causes Borderline Personality Disorder?

No, emotional invalidation does not cause Borderline Personality Disorder. However, some people who have had BPD in the past may feel angry and frustrated when nobody listens to them. People with Borderline Personality Disorder might have learned that their feelings are not important. Sometimes people want to make you feel bad about your thoughts or feelings. It is important to set some boundaries for yourself so that you can stay healthy.

Why Do People Invalidate Emotions?Why Do People Invalidate Emotions?

People might make themselves feel better by invalidating other people’s emotions. This can come from their own insecurities and fears. For example, if someone has problems with his money or has had a breakup, he might not want to hear about other people’s problems. It makes them feel sad and like they can’t handle anything else.

Many times when we invalidate others’ feelings, we do so subconsciously without meaning to hurt anyone; however, this doesn’t make us immune from feeling guilty for doing it afterward. Try to listen to someone with an open mind and heart. Don’t make assumptions about what they’re going through because you might be wrong.

What Are The Emotional Invalidation Statements?

There are a few common statements that people use when they’re emotionally invalidating someone else. Some of these include:

  • “You’re overreacting”
  • “That’s not a big deal”
  • “You’re just being emotional”
  • “Calm down, you’re making things worse”
  • “You’re too sensitive”
  • “That’s irrational, you don’t really feel that way”

What Are The Emotional Invalidation Examples?What Are The Emotional Invalidation Examples?

There are all kinds of examples of emotional invalidation, some of them are as follows:

Let’s say one person comes to another with a problem and their friend responds by saying something like: I’m busy right now so I can’t focus on your problems.” Or perhaps they tell the other person not to worry about it because things will get better soon without even listening first.

People who say mean things to others might be trying to calm their own fears. They might not have any compassion for the person they are talking to.

Consequences Of Emotional Invalidation

There are several consequences of emotional invalidation, which can include:

  • People feel like their thoughts and feelings don’t matter
  • Lack of trust in others because they’ve been hurt before
  • Feeling isolated and alone
  • Developing low self-esteem or an inferiority complex
  • Experiencing depression or anxiety disorders
  • Developing addictions as a way to cope with the pain
  • Emotional invalidation can lead to self-destructive behaviors such as substance abuse and even suicide

Preventions Preventions 

There are ways to protect yourself from getting hurt when someone invalidates your emotions, such as:

    • First, you need to know that it is not your responsibility to make someone else happy or sad. And also, never take responsibility for how someone else feels. You have more power over you and your emotions than you do over anyone else’s.
    • If someone invalidates your feelings, remember that they are responsible for their own thoughts and actions – not yours.
    • You don’t need to change the way you feel in order to make them happy either; You can be nice to people even if you don’t agree with them. But sometimes you need to tell them what is on your mind.
    • Try not to take things personally. Just because someone doesn’t agree with you, it doesn’t mean that they don’t like you. They might be trying to help you in a different way or are just trying to understand what is going on. It could just mean that they’re bad at communicating their thoughts and feelings effectively.
    • If you can, try to distance yourself from the person who invalidates your emotions as much as possible. If you are having trouble with a friend or family member, it is hard to set boundaries. But there are ways to do this without completely cutting them out of your life.
    • Finally, remember that validation is key. It’s good to tell people in your life when you have a bad day. Telling them will make you feel better and they will appreciate what you say.


Emotional invalidation is when someone feels like nobody is hearing them and their emotions do not matter. This leads to a feeling of isolation, which in turn can lead people to make decisions that don’t align with what we know about them or how they would normally behave. Our team at Cognitive Neuroscientists knows this all too well and has dedicated our lives to helping others understand themselves better through the use of neuroscientific research.

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