Mothers and their adult daughters often have a difficult time understanding each other. Mothers want to understand the motivations behind their daughter’s actions. But they are not always welcomed with open arms. There can be many reasons for this lack of communication, from different values to different interests. So, how to heal the mother-daughter relationship?
Well, regardless of the cause, there is hope for healing these relationships through conversation and activities that bring them together. In this post, we will explore some ways to help you strengthen your relationship with your mother or daughter so that you don’t need professional help!
- 1 Reason Of Differences Between Mothers And Adult Daughters
- 2 Tips For Mothers To Bring A Daughter Closer
- 3 Questions To Ask For Meaningful Conversation
- 4 Healing Tips For Moms
- 5 Ways For Adult Daughters To Bring Mom Closer
- 6 Questions To Ask For Meaningful Conversation
- 7 Healing Tips For Daughters
- 8 Activity Ideas To Strengthen Your Bond
- 9 Heading To Therapy If Necessary
- 10 Conclusion
- 11 A Word From Mantra Care
Reason Of Differences Between Mothers And Adult Daughters
There are many different reasons why mothers and adult daughters often have difficulty communicating.
One reason is that the two generations have different values. Mothers may want their daughters to follow traditional gender roles, while daughters may want more independence and freedom of choice.
Shift In Power
Another reason for tension between mothers and daughters is the change in power dynamics as the daughter becomes an adult. Adult daughters may feel like they are no longer under their mother’s authority and resent feeling like they have to answer to her.
Finally, mothers and daughters can often be different in terms of interests. Mothers may want to spend time talking about family or personal issues. While daughters may prefer to talk about current events or other topics that don’t interest their mother.
Tips For Mothers To Bring A Daughter Closer
When mothers feel like they are losing control of their relationship with their daughters. It is important to take action before communication breaks down further and feelings get hurt even more. Here are some tips for someone who wants to strengthen a bond with her daughter:
Acknowledge Your Differences
The first step is to acknowledge that there are differences between the two of you. This will help start a dialogue in which both parties can be open and honest about their feelings.
Be Understanding And Patient
It’s important to remember that it takes time for relationships to change, so be understanding and patient with your daughter. Remember that she is an adult now and doesn’t need to be told what to do.
Encourage Her Independence
Instead of trying to control your daughter, try to encourage her independence. This can be difficult if you feel like she is making choices that you don’t agree with. But it’s important to remember that she needs to make her own decisions to learn and grow.
Be Interested In Her Life
Instead of talking about your problems, try to get interested in what is important to her. This can be especially difficult if you feel like she doesn’t want anything to do with you or pay any attention to what’s going on in your life!
- So make sure that when you are together, you are giving her your full attention.
It’s also important to set boundaries with your daughter. This means that you should have expectations for how she will treat you and what is off-limits in terms of conversation.
Find Common Interests
Finally, try to find some common interests that you can share. This may be difficult if she is into activities that you don’t understand or vice versa. But it’s important to make an effort.
Try to find activities that the two of you can do together. You could take a walk, go shopping or try cooking together. These activities give mothers and daughters an excuse to spend time with each other and talk about anything they would like.
- Just be careful not to let it feel forced!
Questions To Ask For Meaningful Conversation
To have meaningful conversations with your daughter, it’s important to ask the right questions. Here are some questions to get you started:
- How was your day?
- What are your plans for the future?
- Do you have any romantic interests?
- What is your favorite thing about me?
- When did you start feeling like an adult?
- What kind of job do you want one day?
- What are your thoughts on marriage?
- How do you feel about having kids?
- When did you start liking (or not liking) a certain type of music/movies/food?
- What’s the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
Healing Tips For Moms
If you’re a mom who is struggling to connect with her daughter, here are some healing tips that may help:
Start By Acknowledging Your Feelings
The first step is to acknowledge your feelings. This means admitting that you feel hurt, frustrated, or neglected by your daughter. Once you have accepted these feelings, it will be easier for you to do something about them.
Distance Yourself If Necessary
If your daughter is being rude, aggressive, or disrespectful towards you, it’s okay to distance yourself from her! This means not talking as much and focusing on other people instead of giving attention to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Understand Your Daughter Is An Adult
It’s also important to understand that your daughter is an adult and will make her own decisions. You can’t force her to treat you better! All you can do is practice healthy boundaries with her, give helpful advice when she asks for it, and encourage positive choices in life.
Ways For Adult Daughters To Bring Mom Closer
Now that you know how to bring your mother closer, it’s time for adult daughters to learn some tips on how they can get their mom in the right mindset. Here are some ways for an adult daughter to improve her relationship with her mother:
Acknowledge That You Need Her Support
The first step is to acknowledge that you need your mother’s support. This doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it just means that you understand that she has been through a lot and can offer valuable insight.
Talk To Her About Your Problems
It’s also important to talk openly to your mother about your problems. She may not be able to solve them, but she may be able to give you some advice that helps!
Set Boundaries And Expectations
You should also set boundaries and expectations for your relationship with her. If you don’t feel like she is respecting these standards, let her know kindly so that the two of you can reach an understanding.
Be Open About Your Personal Life
Try to be open about your personal life so that she can get to know you and understand what is going on. This doesn’t mean giving her too much information, but it does mean showing some interest in what’s important to her.
Encourage Her As A Woman And Mentor
Last but not least, encourage her as a woman and mentor. Ask for advice when you need it! She may not be the best person to talk about love relationships or being an adult child, but she can offer guidance on any other subject that interests you.
Questions To Ask For Meaningful Conversation
Here are some questions that may help start a meaningful conversation with your mother:
- What was your relationship with your mother?
- How did she help you become the woman you are today?
- What were some things that you struggled with when you were my age?
- What advice would you give me about some of the things I’m going through now?
- Would you like to do something together, or is there anything else you would like to talk about?
- What are your favorite memories of spending time with me?
- What is your favorite thing about me as a child?
- How did you raise us to be happy, healthy adults today?
Healing Tips For Daughters
If you’re a daughter who is struggling to connect with your mother, here are some healing tips that may help:
Start By Acknowledging Your Feelings
The first step is to acknowledge your feelings. This means admitting that you feel hurt, frustrated, or neglected by your mother. Once you have accepted these feelings, it will be easier for you to do something about them.
Distance Yourself If Necessary
If your mother is being rude, aggressive, or disrespectful towards you, it’s okay to distance yourself from her! This means not talking as much and focusing on other people instead of giving attention to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Understand Your Mother Is An Adult
It’s also important to understand that your mother is an adult and will make her own decisions. You can’t force her to treat you better! All you can do is practice healthy boundaries with her, give helpful advice when she asks for it, and encourage positive choices in life.
- If the two of you are struggling too much, it may be time to seek professional help.
Activity Ideas To Strengthen Your Bond
In addition to dialogue, spending time together doing activities is another way to strengthen your relationship with your daughter. Activities don’t have to be complicated or time-consuming, they just need to bring you together so that you can work on building a stronger bond. Here are some ideas:
You may not think of cooking as an activity, but it’s perfect for mothers and daughters. Cooking together can be a great way to spend quality time, plus you get the benefit of enjoying what you made!
Taking A Walk Or Going For Coffee
Another activity that is easy and quick while still being meaningful is taking a walk or going for coffee. This allows both women to unwind after their busy day while sharing some personal thoughts and feelings.
Sharing A Hobby
If your daughter is into a hobby, try to share it with her! This can be difficult if you don’t know anything about the hobby, but it’s a great opportunity to learn more about her and what she enjoys.
Going To The Movies Or Out For Dinner
Finally, you could go out for a nice dinner or see a movie. This is a great way to spend some quality time and catch up on what’s been going on in each other’s lives.
Heading To Therapy If Necessary
If you’ve tried all of these things and your relationship still isn’t improving, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist could help the two of you communicate better and understand each other’s feelings. This is a big decision, but if you feel like you are at your wit’s end, it could be the best thing for both of you. It can be very beneficial for both mother and daughter!
The truth is that relationships change over time. As children become adults, they are less reliant on their parents for support and guidance. This doesn’t mean that the relationship with your mother or daughter has to change, though.
Whether your relationship with your mother is good or bad, there is always room for improvement. So try to think of ways that you can be closer with your mother and make time for meaningful conversation every once in a while!
No matter what stage your mother-daughter relationship is in, you must continue to put effort into the relationship and remain positive. And look for the best for both for good.
A Word From Mantra Care
Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.