- 1 What Is Pre-marital Counseling?
- 2 Types of Pre-marital Counseling
- 3 Benefits of Pre-marital Counseling
- 4 When To Start Counseling?
- 5 Conclusion
- 6 A Word From MantraCare
What Is Pre-marital Counseling?
Many couples are not aware of the benefits of Pre-marital Counseling. It usually starts with a meeting between partners and a therapist who will go over topics. These are such as communication, finances, parenting, sex + intimacy, etc. The therapist will then provide guidelines on how to have conversations that address these types of problems. The main goal of the therapy is to help the couple communicate more effectively during heated times. Therapy is also a form of couples therapy. This is because it solves issues that may arise in relationships. This includes talking about money, sex, etc. Pre-marriage counseling also helps couples come to an agreement. It is before they make more major decisions.
The main thing about pre-marriage counseling is that it gives both partners the opportunity to voice their opinion. If a couple is in an argument and the wife feels unheard, she will most likely not feel comfortable in her marriage or in her own skin. Therapists encourage both partners to look into the other’s eyes while they voice their concerns. This is because it allows for open communication.
Direct eye contact, when talking about sensitive topics such as money, sex, etc., is very important. This way you can give each other undivided attention and see how they feel about certain situations so that no one walks away without feeling satisfied. If any one of you keeps diverting their gaze, this means he/she doesn’t want to solve problems.
Types of Pre-marital Counseling
Before you begin your pre-marital counseling, it’s important that you discuss this dilemma with both of your therapists. It is to ensure that they’ll be able to work together. While some therapists will only cater to one party, others may have more experience working with different types of couples. This can handle a situation where two parties see two different counselors separately.
Some therapists might feel as though personality assessments are necessary. These are before beginning pre-marriage counseling sessions. This is so each partner can become aware of their own patterns and tendencies. These are tendencies that affect the relationship on a larger scale. This way, a couple is more likely to understand why certain conflicts happen in the first place. They also know how they can prevent future fights from happening. This is the process where you understand each other personality’s type.
The Gottman Method is a system that’s based on research collected from studying thousands of couples over several decades. This method uses conversations between both partners to try and understand the subconscious thought processes. This can affect how you, as humans, respond to each other. During this process, each partner has the opportunity to learn more about their significant other’s inner dialogue. This is so they can begin to either accept or modify these thoughts. This is also when someone is interpreting a situation or comment differently than it was intended. For example: If one person thinks that something said by their spouse is an attack when it wasn’t meant as such.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy is a type of therapy that will help you establish and refine your communication with each other. This process requires partners to work together. It is to not only identify their own personal goals, but also the goals they have as a couple. Once these are identified, the next step is for partners to begin working towards these goals together. This can be through open communication that acknowledges both parties’ feelings with empathy and compassion.
Psychodynamic Couples Therapy
This type of therapy tends to focus more on the past in order to resolve problems within the marriage in the present day. During psychodynamic couple’s therapy (PCCT), you’ll learn about your unconscious fears and desires. This is through free association with your partner; each person talks while the other listens. Once communication has improved between both partners, PCCT sessions may also include role-playing exercises. These are when parts of scenes from a movie or TV show can help couples communicate with each other more effectively. These can be during heated discussions.
Benefits of Pre-marital Counseling
The most common misconception about pre-marital counseling is that it’s a way of “fixing” a couple before their marriage. In reality, pre-marriage counseling comes with a wide range of benefits including:
Increases Communication Skills
It’s important to know how to communicate with your partner effectively. This is in order for the relationship to run smoothly. Through this process, couples will learn how to better express themselves in an effective way. There is no room for misunderstanding when both partners are actively participating during the conversation. Learning how to communicate with your partner in a calm and understanding manner. This will result in fewer fights which in turn means less stress for you or your partner.
Couples who go through pre-marriage counseling may have high self-esteem when they marry. This is because they feel comfortable with one another after learning more about each other’s values, goals, etc. Also, couples who are involved in therapy before marriage are more likely to complete any unfinished business. This may cause tension between them later on if they don’t discuss it before their marriage. The therapist helps couples work out and communicate these issues before they become too big.
Decreases Financial Stress
Many couples have the issue of being on different pages when it comes to their finances. This can have a huge impact on their marriage. It is because one person may feel as though they’re not providing enough for the family. In pre-marriage counseling, these problems can be resolved. This is so that both partners are satisfied with how money is spent within the household. There’s no need to worry about how you will afford a vacation or new house if you don’t have to. It is because you’ll understand your partner’s values and priorities when it comes to spending money together as a couple.
Pre-marital counseling ensures that couples stay true to themselves. They also want what is best for their partner. Communication is a vital part of any relationship. If you are going through pre-marriage counseling, couples will be able to talk about big life decisions without fear or doubt. By being honest with your therapist and each other, you can make the best choices for your marriage down the road. This is because there won’t be any secrets between you.
Decreases Chances of Divorce
These days the rate of getting a divorce is increasing. This is just because it’s expected of them rather than for love. Statistics show that those who marry from an arranged marriage have a lower chance of divorcing. This is in comparison to those who marry from a love match. This doesn’t mean that if one person feels unhappy within the marriage they should stay together at all costs. This means that those who go through therapy before their marriage are more likely to stay together. This is because they learned the importance of communication and honesty within a partnership.
Helps In Decision Making
Couples who go through pre-marriage counseling learn how to share their voices and opinions. This is in a productive way that helps them make even the most difficult decisions together. Having an issue with one another? Bring it up during these sessions so you can get to the bottom of what’s bothering you. It is because there is nothing that should be left unspoken when it comes to your relationship.
Helps In Dealing With Anger
When people feel as though they can’t express themselves to their significant other. This is unlikely that their anger will build. If these emotions aren’t dealt with in a healthy manner, you could be looking at issues. These issues are such as depression and aggression within the relationship later on. By professionally guiding couples through these tough conversations and helping them understand each other better, they may find that this anger dissipates over time. This means less stress for everyone involved.
Increases Chances To Work Through Problems
Sometimes if there is an issue between one partner and the family of the other partner, it can end up causing tension between both partners. This is because one person feels like they’re not accepted by the family of their spouse-to-be. This type of conflict is normal – nobody’s family is perfect after all. But it can be difficult to bring up with your significant other. This is because you don’t want to upset them or make things awkward. Through pre-marriage counseling, couples are able to work through conflict resolution in a safe environment. This is where they can express their thoughts and concerns without fear of being judged.
When To Start Counseling?
While pre-marriage counseling is meant to help build a foundation for your relationship before you say “I do,” it can also be used as a means to save your marriage. It’s never too late to start this process if you feel as though there are issues within your marriage. These are such as hiding problems from each other, not addressing concerns about intimacy, etc. The therapist will work with both parties to come up with solutions. This is in order for the relationship to continue moving forward towards the future.
Pre-marital counseling is beneficial no matter how long you’ve been together. This can be whether it’s been five years or 50. Counseling gives you the opportunity to learn more about your partner and yourself. This will help build a better relationship between both partners. Nowadays, couples are choosing to postpone marriage until later in life. This is because they feel as though there’s no real rush. This is why pre-marriage counseling can also be beneficial if one or both of you have never had therapy before. It will teach you how to communicate effectively with each other. This is so that future fights don’t happen because communication wasn’t given enough attention beforehand.
If you’re considering pre-marriage counseling, it can help you decide if you want to move forward with marriage. These can help you try and work through issues that might arise down the road. This can also be when you think about starting a family together. It’s also one of the first steps towards a healthy and happy marriage, which should always be at the forefront of any relationship.
Pre-marital counseling is an excellent way to solve conflicts within your relationship. This can be by working through issues as a team instead of hashing it out alone. It also provides couples with the opportunity to talk about sensitive topics. These topics are such as finances, sex, etc., without any judgment from others. Also, if you make major life decisions together as partners, you’ll be better equipped for handling difficulties as they arise down the road. This is because you worked through them beforehand.
A Word From MantraCare
Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.