- 1 Why Do I Hate My Father?
- 2 Healing from Hatred for Your Father
- 3 The Danger of Carrying Around Hatred
- 4 How Therapy Mediates in Hatred Toward Fathers
- 5 Nervousness About Taking Therapy
- 6 Conclusion
- 7 A Word From MantraCare
Why Do I Hate My Father?
I hate my father. He is very difficult to live with, and I have never liked him. My mom says that when she first met him, she was scared. But in the end, he won her over. She says that sometimes he is hard – but I know what “hard” really means – abusive! I hate my father for these 6 reasons.
When you ask, “Why do I hate my father?” you’re recognizing that there is something missing in your relationship with your father, or that something is not quite right. It is important to be in touch with your feelings and whether or not you feel good. You need to do this for your mental health. There are people who hate their fathers. If you think you might be one of them, then ask yourself why. Never feel guilty for asking the question. When you know why you feel this way, then you can answer the question “What are your next steps?” Perhaps you don’t feel this way about your dad, but you know that your relationship is not what it should be. This article will cover a few of the possible reasons you might feel that way.
You do not feel close to him
Many grown children feel completely disconnected from their fathers. Sometimes the father gives too much time to his work. It can be hard for him to spend time with his family. If your father abandoned you completely, you may hate him even more. You might not have had a lot of time with your dad, but you still needed him. He said he would be there for you to take care of you, but he didn’t do that.
In our society, we sometimes think that mothers are more emotional and nurturing of their children, while fathers are more practical. No matter what your parents’ roles were, children need to feel connected to both of their parents. We often think that fathers are the providers and also the ones who discipline children. Researchers have found that children who don’t have fathers are more upset than those without mothers.
This shows that children need to connect with their fathers. Some fathers have trouble connecting with their children because of traditional gender roles. These gender roles tell you to act tough, not show emotions and be distant. But this is not what fathers should do. Fathers should be close to their children and show them, love. We usually support these expectations for men. But they can be very damaging.
Anyone can become a parent. There is no pre-test. Neither there is any certification required, nor there is any education, or effective preparation, necessary. Just because someone becomes a parent, does not mean they are well-equipped to serve this critically important role. This is not meant to excuse fathers’ bad behavior, but to explain it. When fathers are not able to be available during children’s most vulnerable years, they can suffer.
When someone hurts you, they might do it when you are feeling vulnerable.
Children depend on their parents for everything. They need them for many years of their development. Kids, teenagers, and high school students will take care of themselves if they were hurt by their parents. As a child, you need your parents to take care of your physical and emotional needs. You don’t know how to do it yourself yet. You also need love and compassion from your parents. Some fathers don’t know how to love their kids. If your dad hurt you at a time when you were most vulnerable and trusting, it is understandable that you hate him today.
Emotionally abusive parents can leave scars that are just as damaging as physical ones, even though emotional abuse is not tangible. They will make you feel bad about yourself and not good. It is not true that parents who are mean are not hurting their kids. They might not do anything bad, but they are still doing something bad to make the kids feel bad. Some people today have a hard time because of things their parents did to them when they were kids.
3. Others Influenced Him Down
Although this reason may seem rare, it does happen. That is why people should look into it. Think about the things your dad does and says. How did he treat you? What did he tell you about him? Sometimes other people have a bad opinion about our parents. If someone is putting you down for no reason, your kids might think it’s true. You can try to make them believe you are a good dad.
4. He Didn’t Deal with Your Teen Rebellion Appropriately
Many children have a time when they don’t listen to their parents. This is a very natural and necessary stage of development. In this time, all teenagers figure out who they are and how they will live without their parents. Sometimes, parents might think that their teenagers are being rebellious because they are bad parents. This is not right. As teens grow, they want to have more individuality. They might not do everything in the best way.
A wise parent knows how to deal with it when the child rebels. They know that this is just a phase. Parents may learn skills to help them. They might know how to talk with you about what you want. If your father didn’t know how to do this, it could make things worse. You might not be able to get what you want and then you may resent him for your whole life.
Sometimes, fathers may believe that authoritarian parenting is the best way to deal with rebellious teenagers. However, many studies have shown that this is simply not the case. In general, strict parenting can lead to children who become sneaky and learn how to work around their parents. This is different from trusting them.
5. He Hurt Someone You Love
Hating someone is a big deal. If someone hurts their mom, it is ok to be mad and not like them anymore. It will probably make sense if they hurt other people too. It can be tough to see your mother sad because of Dad. You might want to punish him in order to help her, but it is hard to do that when you love him too. You should love the person who helped you. If someone hurt your mother, they did it to you too. Your mother might want you to have a good relationship with your father because he is also your father. If this is dangerous, don’t do it because it could be very bad for you to do so. A counselor can help you figure out if you should stay with your dad or not.
6. He Didn’t Spend Enough Time with You
Parents need to look at what is best for their children. If a parent is not there, it can make life difficult for the child. They need to be regularly around and spend time with them. Many fathers who work in busy careers, such as art design, politics, business, finance, world politics may not spend as much time with their children. The lack of time can cause problems in the family. Children might think that they are to blame. When kids get older, they may stop loving their father for not showing up more often.
Healing from Hatred for Your Father
Although your father may have hurt you and you can’t stand him, there is hope that he will change. If you see a therapist about it for a long time, then your feelings might change too. Some of these patients will have better relationships with their fathers, some will do more therapy with their fathers, and some will just move on because they know they are not alone. It is possible to heal from hatred for your father.
Therapy is good for people who have strong feelings about their fathers. They can help you figure out why you have these strong feelings. These strong feelings might be because your father left the family, for example, or they might be because your father was a very nice person and stayed with the family. Families are complicated. You can’t decide what you need to fix on your own. An expert can help you understand the past and healing needed so it is easier for you to feel less angry towards someone in your family.
If you have feelings of hatred towards your father, then a therapist will be able to work with you.
The Danger of Carrying Around Hatred
There are many reasons why you may feel hatred towards your father. It is not a bad thing to share your story. But it can be dangerous to carry around hatred.
It is bad to hate someone. You can say that I hate my father. It doesn’t matter why you have this feeling. If you hold on to it, it will affect how you live your life.
People who feel a lot of hatred in their hearts should find a therapist. Sometimes therapists can help you. Letting go of hatred doesn’t mean that you have to be close to your father, especially if he was emotionally abusive. But freeing yourself from the feeling of hatred is something that will only benefit you in the long run, no matter.
How Therapy Mediates in Hatred Toward Fathers
Therapy can help people in all different relationships. Therapy that helps people get along is called therapy. Marriage therapy is very helpful for some people. It can also help families get closer together or heal after someone leaves the family. There are people who help you feel less bad about your dad. They can tell you why you hate him and how to handle it. And they can help fix your relationship with him if that is what you want to do. Therapy delivered by a psychologist or psychiatrist in an office setting can be a good way to get help. Therapy given online can also be helpful. If you want to talk with your father about issues, it might be best to do it at home or his home so he feels more comfortable.
Nervousness About Taking Therapy
There are many good things that come from mental health treatment centers. People who find support centers are glad they did. If you are scared about the decision to find one, it is OK. Therapy is something that you can do when you want to. There is no rush. When you find a therapist, they will work at the rate that you are comfortable with.
Therapy can help you with all sorts of things, not just mental health. Therapy can help you in your relationship with your father. Even if you don’t have a father, therapy can help you. If your dad won’t go to therapy with you, then other things can help. You need to look at the things that are not good in your life and add more good things.
This is all about the conditions when I say that I hate my father. So, what’s the takeaway? Let go of any hate you may feel for your father and let him be a part of your life. If he is not in contact with you and doesn’t want to reach out (which can happen), then that’s his choice. You need to find peace within yourself so that you can move on from this hatred for someone who has never been there for you. There are many people out there just like us who have dealt with similar issues as we’re going through now—and they’ve found happiness again by letting go of their anger at their fathers or mothers because it was holding them back from living a happy life too.
A Word From MantraCare
Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.