When a person is stonewalling you, it’s not a good thing. In fact, when they are doing this to you, it can be very frustrating and even lead to anger. They refuse to answer your questions or give any information without making things difficult for you. It might seem like there’s nothing that can be done about it, but they’re actually is! The first step in the process of dealing with someone who constantly refuses to cooperate is determining why they’re doing this in the first place. There may be an underlying reason which we’ll explore later on in this article. For now, let’s focus on how we can get them to stop stonewalling us so easily!
What is Stonewalling?
Stonewalling is when someone refuses to answer questions or cooperate, making the conversation difficult. Denying a question is one way. It can be done in a lot of ways, such as not answering a question or providing vague answers. It can be frustrating, but it’s important to determine why they’re doing this in the first place.
Signs Of Stonewalling
Stonewalling is sometimes very clear in a relationship. It may be subtle, and you or your partner may not suspect that you are engaging in it. Signs of stonewalling include:
- Ignoring what the other person is saying
- Changing the subject to avoid an uncomfortable topic
- Storming off without a word
- Coming up with reasons not to talk
- Interrogating someone without allowing them to respond is a violation of the fifth amendment.
- Rather than talking about the present problem, make accusations.
- You should not do these things. It shows that you are not listening.
- Engaging in passive-aggressive behaviors such as stalling or procrastinating to avoid talking about a problem
- Refusing to apologize for their stonewalling demeanor
There are several indications that someone is stonewalling you. If any of these signs appear, it’s critical to pay attention and seek out the reason for it.
Causes Of Stonewalling
There can be a number of reasons why someone might stonewall you. It could be that they are not comfortable with this conversation. They might not want to share certain information with you. They might not know how to answer your questions. In some cases, it may even be a sign of emotional unavailability or withdrawal. If you can identify the cause, it will be easier to address the situation.
- Generalized avoidance of conflict
- They don’t know how to communicate
- Someone who is not emotionally available
- They feel as if their partner doesn’t support them or understand what they’re going through
- Inability to handle criticism from a loved one
There are many reasons why someone might stonewall you. If there’s a problem, try identifying why they’re doing this before you talk to them about it.
Types Of Stonewalling
There are different types of stonewalling that can occur in a relationship. The most common are emotional stonewalling, information stonewalling, and time-out stonewalling.
This type of stonewalling is when someone emotionally withdraws from the conversation or shuts down completely. They may not respond to anything you say, and they may give short or incomplete answers. This type of stonewalling is often a sign that the person is feeling overwhelmed or attacked.
This type of stonewalling occurs when someone refuses to share information with their partner. They might avoid certain topics, change the subject when you bring up something they don’t want to talk about or give vague answers. This isn’t the same as someone who is trying to avoid conflict. Rather than being evasive in order to have power over their partner, this person may just not feel comfortable sharing certain things with them yet.
This type of stonewalling is when someone takes a break from the conversation. They may leave the room, stop responding to messages or take a longer than necessary time to answer questions. This can be frustrating for both partners, as it often leaves them feeling ignored or unheard.
Impact On Relationships
All of these types of stonewalling can affect a relationship in different ways. In some instances, it may be difficult to get them back on track. If this is the case, it’s important that you don’t give up or resort to arguing with your partner. Just because they’re not doing what you want doesn’t mean there isn’t a way to fix the problem.
Stonewalling can also be a sign that your relationship is in trouble. If you notice this behavior, talk to your partner and ask what they think is going on. It may be that they’re not happy with the direction things are going, or they find it difficult to talk about their emotions.
Having a partner who stonewalls you is often frustrating, but there are ways to address this situation and move forward together. Stonewalling can be caused by many things, so first try to see what the problem is. Then talk about the problems that will happen if you keep stonewalling.
If your partner is stonewalling you, there are a few things you can do to try and overcome it. First, try communicating in a different way. If they’re shutting down emotionally, maybe try talking to them through email or texting instead. You could also try taking a break from the conversation yourself. This can be helpful if your partner is stonewalling your time-out style.
If the problem persists, it may be necessary to seek professional help. A therapist can help you and your partner understand the root of the problem and work on ways to address it. If you’re feeling frustrated or stuck, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
Stonewalling is a common behavior that can have negative impacts on relationships. If you’re dealing with someone who stonewalls you, try identifying why they do it before talking to them about any issues.
Therapies For Stonewalling
If you’re trying to overcome stonewalling, there are a few therapies that can help.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy focuses on reducing emotional distress and increasing your ability to handle difficult situations without shutting down emotionally or avoiding them completely. Also known as DBT, it may be helpful for those who struggle with self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is another type of therapy that can be useful for those who stonewall. It helps you identify and change the thoughts and beliefs that contribute to your problematic behaviors. This type of therapy can help you learn how to have healthy conversations with your partner, even when things get difficult.
If you’re struggling with stonewalling or another type of emotionally abusive behavior, it’s important to get help. Therapy can be a safe place for you and your partner to address the problem before things escalate any further.
Other Things To Consider
If stonewalling is new or seems like something that happened suddenly, consider whether there are other factors at play. It’s possible that your partner is dealing with a lot of stress or they may be feeling overwhelmed. If this is the case, try giving them some space and see if things improve over time.
Stonewalling can also be caused by unresolved anger or resentment. If you have been hurt by someone you were dating before, they might still be thinking about what happened. Perhaps you had an argument the day before, or maybe your partner is struggling with something at work.
Whatever the case may be, it’s important to try and understand what’s causing them to act this way. Stonewalling can feel like someone is shutting down emotionally – if you can identify the root of the problem, you may be able to address it together.
If stonewalling is causing problems in your relationship, try seeking professional help. There are therapies available that can help you and your partner understand and address the issue.
How To Respond To Stonewalling?
Stonewalling in an intimate relationship is when one partner shuts down, physically or emotionally, and refuses to communicate. The stonewaller withdraws from the conversation, not responding to questions or making excuses for not talking. Due to this shift into silence, stonewalling can be difficult to respond to because it leaves the conversation partner feeling stranded and unsupported.
There are a few ways to try and break through the wall of a stonewaller.
- The first is to gently coax them back into the conversation. This can be done by rephrasing questions, repeating what the other person has said, or summarizing the conversation so far.
- Another way is to give the person space. This can be done by removing yourself from their presence for a few minutes, or creating physical distance when you do talk.
- If nothing is working, it might be time to end the conversation and choose to speak with them about it at another time. There is no need to force things and hurt or anger your loved one in the process.
Stonewalling is an emotional retreat by someone who feels attacked, criticized, or overwhelmed. This tactic of shutting down is often used when people are avoiding conflict or trying to avoid further damage in an already difficult conversation. It can come from parents tempted to overreact with their children; teen boys and girls with raging hormones, who are having trouble keeping their emotions in check; or couples in the midst of a fight.
As adults, we need to learn to take stonewalling seriously by recognizing it as an emotional response that can have serious future consequences. By understanding what causes it and how to respond, you can help your loved one avoid negative effects from withdrawing from a difficult conversation.
Few Tips To Respond To Stonewalling
- Do not take it personally or hold any grudges. Remember that the emotional response is to protect themselves from further damage, and their silence should not be taken as a personal attack.
- Gently coax them back into the conversation by rephrasing questions, repeating what the other person has said, or summarizing the conversation so far.
- Give them space by removing themselves from their presence for a few minutes, or creating physical distance when you do talk.
If you’re in a relationship where one partner has stopped talking, it can be incredibly frustrating. When someone doesn’t talk to us, we feel that they don’t care about our feelings or what is happening. Stonewalling is not always bad. Sometimes people do this because their partner is not talking to them like they want. They hope that their partner will come back with better communication skills or more understanding of how important open dialogue is to them. It is possible that someone will not want to talk to you for a while when they are hurt by something you said. They may need some time alone in order to feel better. Most importantly, if your stonewaller still wants to be in the relationship (and this could change at any point), there are ways you can get them to start talking again.
A Word From Mantra Care
Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.