Abandonment Issues: What They Are and How To Deal With Them

Abandonment issues are a common problem that many people face. These can stem from childhood, past relationships, or other things. There is help available for those who want to get over them and heal themselves. We will talk about what abandonment issues are and how you can deal with them so you don’t have to suffer anymore!

What Are Abandonment Issues?

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Abandonment issues are a normal part of life that everyone must go through. They occur when one is separated from their primary caregiver in early childhood, usually due to illness or death. During the separation period, it’s common for young children to experience feelings of fear and anxiety about not having someone there who can protect them at all times.

As a child gets older, this fear should go away as the caregiver returns and they gain more independence from them. However, if a young person experiences significant feelings of abandonment due to their early childhood years, it can lead to problems later in life such as depression or anxiety disorders.

What Are The Different Types Of Abandonment Issues?

There are different types and forms of abandonment issues that one may suffer from. Such as:

Blanket Abandonment

When a child feels like they’ve been abandoned even when their caregiver is there because the person never makes themselves available to them physically or emotionally.

Emotional Abandonment

When a child feels like they’ve been abandoned because their caregiver constantly shows them that someone else is more important than them. This often leads the child to feel jealous and angry towards this other person, as well as insecure about themselves and their place in life.

Physical Abandonment

When a child experiences physical abandonment by a caregiver, they often have a difficult time understanding what is going on. They might feel abandoned when their caregiver leaves them with someone else for days at a time or takes trips that leave the child in an unfamiliar place without being told why it’s happening.

Empty Nest Syndrome

This happens when someone who has children around all the time suddenly finds themselves alone. This can lead to feelings of emptiness and loneliness if they aren’t prepared for the change in their life or don’t have a support system around them.

Parentified Abandonment

When someone becomes responsible for parenting their caregiver instead of the other way around, it’s considered parentification abandonment. It makes children feel like they have to take care of their parents, which can hurt them as they grow older.

How Does A Person Feel During An Abandonment Issue?

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A person often feels insecure or anxious when they are in an abandonment issue. They might have nightmares about being alone, constantly seek confirmation that someone is there for them, and feel extremely fearful of losing the people closest to them.

Some common feelings that one may have when suffering from abandonment issues include fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, and loneliness. These can be difficult to deal with because they are so intense emotions.

They often lead the individual experiencing them to develop certain coping mechanisms. Such as distraction or avoidance which leads to addiction.

What Are The Causes Of Abandonment Issues?

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Abandonment issues are caused by early childhood experiences. Such as:

Separation From Parents

It might also occur if one’s parent leaves them with grandparents or other relatives while they go off to work. The separation may seem like it lasts for a short period. However, young children can perceive things differently than adults do and this might lead to the development of abandonment issues later on in life.

Separation From Caregiver

If a child is separated from their caregiver for extended periods, they may develop abandonment issues in the process. Separation from one’s caregiver can happen in several ways. Whether it is due to a parent going through a divorce, the death of a close family member or friend, moving away for college/university, etc…

Early Childhood Trauma

Young children who have experienced trauma are also more likely to develop abandonment issues later on. This trauma can occur for several reasons. Such as:

  • Abuse
  • Neglect
  • Death of a loved one or close friend

Past Relationship Trauma

If someone experiences a breakup with their ex, it can often leave them feeling like they need to be with that person. This is because the fear of being alone and not knowing what will happen next becomes very overwhelming for them which makes the connection to their ex almost necessary in this moment.

What Happens When One Experiences an Abandonment Issue?

When one experiences abandonment issues, they experience intense emotional pain. They often feel alone and disconnected from the people closest to them. It is common for someone who suffers from these feelings to have a hard time trusting others or letting new people into their lives because of it.

However, there are many things that you can do to help get over these feelings. For example, therapy is one of the best ways for someone to learn how to cope with their emotions and develop healthy relationships in life (instead of constantly avoiding them).

How Do I Know If I Have Abandonment Issues?

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If you feel as though your own needs and feelings don’t matter or perhaps that you aren’t worth loving. Then you may be experiencing some abandonment issues of which might need to be dealt with at a counselor’s office. Some common symptoms include:

  • Anxiety and worry about being left alone
  • Fear of abandonment and rejection, even when there is no evidence for this
  • Fear of being alone, even when it is necessary
  • Feeling ashamed, embarrassed, or unworthy; thinking you are a bad person
  • Hopelessness about the future and feel like your life is over
  • Trouble trusting other people to be there for you in an emergency or crisis
  • Unable to cope with daily problems without help from others
  • Frequent feelings of emptiness and loneliness
  • Feeling like you can’t do anything right or that you’ll never be good enough to meet someone else’s standards
  • Believing that no one would care about what happened to you, so there is no point in telling anyone
  • Taking on other people’s responsibilities as your own instead of standing up for yourself
  • Taking on the role of a victim in your life
  • Experiencing physical symptoms when you don’t get your way or when someone doesn’t do something for you like cook, clean, etc.
  • Suicidal thoughts and feelings; actually attempting to take one’s own life
  • Running away from home at an early age (before age 13)
  • Getting into unhealthy and destructive relationships as a way of avoiding abandonment issues (for example, someone with the disorder might stay in an abusive relationship)

What Are Some Physical Symptoms Of Abandonment Issues?

A person experiencing abandonment issues may also suffer from a variety of physical symptoms as well. Such as:

  • Fatigue or extreme tiredness
  • Depression
  • Lack of appetite,
  • Eating too much, or rapid weight loss/gain
  • Restless sleep and nightmares
  • Decreased libido
  • Social anxiety
  • Shortened attention span
  • Low self-esteem
  • Inability to trust others

How Can I Deal With Abandonment Issues?

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Many people suffer from abandonment issues for much of their lives. If you are experiencing these feelings and think that they might indicate a problem then here are some things that can help:

Seek Professional Help

Seek professional help in the form of a therapist or counselor. They can help you to work through your abandonment issues and understand how they affect every aspect of your life.

Take Care of Yourself Physically

Taking care of your physical health will help you to feel better about yourself and make it easier to face the issues that are causing you stress. Make sure that you get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly.

Be Around Positive People Who Support You

Having positive people in your life who support you and care for you can help to combat feelings of loneliness that often accompany abandonment issues.

Practice Mindfulness Meditation

Practical mindfulness meditation is an effective way for individuals who suffer from abandonment issues to calm their minds when anxiety strikes.

Join Support Groups

Join support groups where you will be able to talk about your feelings and seek the help of others who have been through similar experiences.

Consider Taking Medication

If the symptoms are severe then medication may be a good option, particularly if they cause problems with your relationships or work life. Never stop taking any medication without first consulting with a doctor as it could have serious side effects.

Psychologists on Abandonment Issues

Some psychologists have proposed that fear of abandonment comes from being abandoned by one’s caregiver in early childhood. As a result, the individual never learned to rely upon themselves for comfort when they are sad or upset. They become overly reliant upon others to fill that role.

Other experts believe that people who suffer from abandonment issues typically come from abusive homes, and the fear of being abandoned is accompanied by feelings of unworthiness.

Still, other psychologists believe that when a person is abandoned in childhood, they will develop the feeling of being unworthy and unlovable. This belief follows them into adulthood and causes them to feel insecure with any individual who shows interest in getting closer than a casual friendship.

There are many different theories about why people suffer from abandonment issues but there is one thing that they all agree on: these issues can ruin your life if you don’t deal with them.

Conclusion

Abandonment is a common fear that can be triggered by the loss of relationships, social status, and self-esteem. If you feel like your abandonment issues are getting in the way of your life or happiness, it’s important to seek professional help. The good news is there are plenty of resources out there for all sorts of needs. So don’t give up on finding what will work best for you!

A Word From Mantra Care

Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.

At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depressionanxietystressrelationshipOCDLGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.

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