What the hell just happened? We all ask ourselves this after a breakup. The narcissist discard can be even more confusing. Because it often happens out of nowhere. Without any previous warning signs or indications that you are about to be discarded. This post will answer seven questions related to being discarded by a narcissist (the-7-answers-i-desperately-needed-after-the-narcissistic-discard) and what to do next. I hope you find these answers helpful!
- 1 Understanding Narcissist Discard
- 2 Those Seven Questions And Their Answers
- 3 Talking To Someone Who Understands Your Situation
- 4 Talking To A Professional
- 5 Conclusion
- 6 A Word From Mantra Care
Understanding Narcissist Discard
What Qualifies As Narcissist Discard?
The narcissist discard can be one of the most confusing, painful, and traumatic experiences a person can go through. It often happens without any warning signs or indication that you are about to be discarded. The narcissist will typically disappear from your life abruptly, without providing any explanation for why they are leaving.
What A Narcissist Discard Is Like?
The narcissistic discard can feel different for everyone who experiences it. However, many people report feeling blindsided and confused after being discarded by a narcissist. You may feel like you did something wrong, even though you know deep down that you didn’t.
You may question yourself and feel like it’s somehow your fault that the narcissist discarded you. Even though this is not true at all. The most important thing to do in these moments is to remind yourself of your worth and realize that it wasn’t your fault!
Also, you may feel like you are going crazy. And you may feel like you want to die. Or that this is all your fault. All of these feelings are normal after a breakup, but especially so after being discarded by a narcissist. The thing to remember is that the way you are feeling is not your fault and it is not permanent. You will get through this.
Why Do You Want An Explanation?
You may be wondering why the narcissist chose to discard you and what you did wrong. It is natural to want an explanation for why you were devalued and discarded, but unfortunately, the narcissist is not likely to give you one.
The reason they do not give you an explanation is that they do not care about your feelings. They just want to move on and the discard was simply a way for them to get rid of you so that nothing stood in their way anymore.
Those Seven Questions And Their Answers
I will list seven questions I frequently hear from people who have been discarded by a narcissist. I will then answer each of these questions to provide you with the insight and clarity that you need after this kind of experience.
What Did I Do Wrong?
You did nothing wrong! I need to make it clear right from the beginning that being discarded by a narcissist is not your fault at all. Narcissists are skilled manipulators and they may make you feel like it’s your fault, but that is simply a tactic to ensure that you do not get angry or upset about what happened.
Why Did They Discard Me?
The narcissistic discard is often sudden, unexpected, and without any warning signs. This means that the narcissist has likely been planning the discard for a while and they chose to do it at that particular time because something or someone else came up.
They just wanted to get rid of you as soon as possible so that nothing would stand in their way anymore, but they did not care enough about your feelings to give you an explanation first.
What Did I Do To Deserve This?
Again, you did nothing wrong! The narcissist discards people for their benefit and they do not care about your feelings at all. They simply wanted to get rid of you in the most efficient way possible and that is why they chose to discard you without any warning or explanation.
How Can I Be So Silly?
It’s normal to feel like you were silly for falling for a narcissist in the first place. After all, they are skilled manipulators and can be very charming in the beginning. However, it is important to remember that you are not silly for being targeted by a narcissist. They target people who are vulnerable and have low self-esteem because they know that these people will be the easiest to control and manipulate.
Are You Going To Get Back Together?
The narcissist will likely move on from the discard as quickly as possible because they simply want free reign over their life at this point. They do not want anything or anyone to stand in their way.
This means that the chances of getting back together with the narcissist are slim to none. If you do try to get back together, they will likely discard you again and it will only cause more pain and heartache for you in the long run.
Will I Get Over It?
Yes, you will get over it! The feelings of hurt and loss are normal after being discarded by a narcissist. However, the good news is that these feelings do not last forever. With time comes healing and eventually your wounds will fade away until they are only scars left behind to remind you what happened to prevent it from happening again.
What If I Can’t Move On?
The discard can feel like a death and it may take a long time for you to move on from the experience. However, it is important to remember that you will heal with time. There is no set timeline for recovering from a narcissistic discard, but know that you will get through it.
Talking To Someone Who Understands Your Situation
One of the best things you can do for yourself after being discarded by a narcissist is to talk about it. You can speak with someone who has been through the same experience and they will understand everything you are feeling because they have felt the same way. It’s important not to blame this person or make them feel guilty for what happened, but instead, allow them to offer you support and understanding.
Talking To The Narcissist
If you are in a situation where the narcissist is willing to have an open conversation about what happened between the two of you, it may be beneficial for both parties involved. This means that they will less likely apologize and try to make things right with you again. Because this scenario does not benefit them at all if they don’t want something long-term from you. And even if you receive an explanation or apology, it may be shallow and filled with lies.
Talking To A Professional
If you are truly struggling to cope with the discard and you feel like you cannot find any comfort or support, it may be a good idea to speak with a professional about what happened. A therapist will not judge your situation in any way and they can provide helpful advice and tips for how you should move forward after this experience.
Being discarded by a narcissist is not your fault and you should not blame yourself for what happened. The narcissist discards people for their benefit and they do not care about your feelings at all. If you are feeling lost, confused, or devastated after being discarded. Then, is important to talk about it with someone who has been through the same experience before. You can find support and understanding from those people, which will help you cope better during this difficult time in your life.
A Word From Mantra Care
Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.