Do you often feel like you are being abandoned? Do you find yourself constantly worrying about whether or not your partner is going to leave you? If so, you are not alone. Many people struggle with abandonment issues in relationships. This can be a very difficult thing to deal with. However, it is possible to overcome these issues and have a healthy and happy relationship. In this blog post, we will discuss the top nine abandonment issues in relationships and how to overcome them!
Contents
What Are Abandonment Issues?
Abandonment issues are often described as a fear of abandonment. In a relationship, abandonment issues roots when an individual perceives their partner to be withdrawing or leaving them. These feelings can manifest themselves in a number of ways, such as:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Anger
- Jealousy
- Rejection sensitivity
- Low self-esteem
- Unworthiness
Moreover, these types of issues surface when a person fails to meet the other’s expectations. Whether it is physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual needs. Abandonment is a feeling that we all have faced at one point or another in our lives. It is the feeling of disconnectedness and rejection.
There are many reasons and signs that your relationship might be affected by abandonment issues. It is important to be able to identify these so that you can address the issue and work through it.
Top 9 Causes Of Abandonment Issues In Relationships
It is though difficult to overcome the feeling of being abandoned by someone you love. The abandonment issues in relationships are generally caused by the fear of being left alone. This may be due to some previous bad experiences or due to certain insecurities. There are many causes of abandonment issues and some of the most common are mentioned below:
Being more clingy
When you are feeling insecure in a relationship, you may tend to be more clingy towards your partner. This is especially so if you have been abandoned before or had a traumatic experience in the past. You may feel like you need to be close to your partner all the time in order to feel safe.
For example, you may constantly text or call your partner, and want to know their whereabouts at all times. Or get upset when they go out without you. While it is good to be close to your partner, it is important to give them space too. Also, you may seek continuous reassurance from your partner that they love you and will not leave you. More often, people who have fear of abandonment tend to be more clingy and needy in relationships.
Pushing your partner away
Sometimes, people with abandonment issues may do the opposite of being clingy. They may try to push their partners away instead, out of fear that they will be abandoned. By pushing them away, they think they can protect themselves from getting hurt again. In fact, this may just be a defense mechanism to keep themselves from getting too close to someone and getting hurt again.
Moreover, researchers say that people with abandonment issues tend to have a higher than average fear of intimacy. They may find it difficult to get close to someone, both physically and emotionally. This can make it hard for them to maintain long-term relationships.
Difficulty feeling love
It is really disturbing when you realize that you do not feel the warmth of love even when your partner is loving and attentive. You want to feel loved, but somehow you just can’t. If this is something you experience, it’s likely that you have some unresolved abandonment issues.
Moreover, the feeling of not being loved can make you act in ways that push your partner away. If you constantly need the reassurance of your partner’s love for you, it can create tension and distance in the relationship. For example, instead of admitting that you need some space, you might lash out and accuse your partner of not loving you.
Or maybe, you want physical love but you are not able to receive it because you feel unworthy of love. This can lead to sexual difficulties and cause further problems in the relationship.
Try to be controlling
When you have a fear of abandonment, then you constantly try to be in control of everything. This is often an attempt to avoid feeling helpless and alone. But, ironically, this behavior can push people away. And you are becoming controlling which can also lead to feeling abandoned. So learning how to let go and trust your partner is an important part of any relationship.
Another way people with abandonment issues try to control their fear is by being perfect. Again, this is an attempt to avoid feeling rejected or abandoned. But the problem is that no one is perfect. And when you try to control your partner or your relationship by being perfect, it can actually create more distance between you.
Negative core beliefs
It is often said that we attract what we are. So, if you’re someone with abandonment issues, it stands to reason that you would attract a partner who is also afraid of abandonment or has some other related issue. Negative beliefs are most common when you are faced with a problem, you might think in black and white terms (“I’m a terrible person, I always screw up”), which doesn’t leave much room for hope or possibility.
These types of negative thoughts are believed to originate from trauma, but yes you are right, they can also come from our upbringing. For example, if you were told as a child that you were “bad” or “worthless,” those messages can stick with you and shape your beliefs about yourself. So, this is also a sign of abandonment issues in relationships.
Fear of intimacy
This is the most common form of abandonment issue. People with a fear of intimacy have trouble getting close to others. They may find it difficult to trust others and may feel like they are always on the outside looking in. They may also have trouble letting go of past hurts.
People with a fear of abandonment often have a hard time being alone. They may feel like they need to be in a relationship in order to feel complete. They may also have a hard time opening up to others and may find it difficult to let people into their lives.
These behaviors are self-protective measures to elude intimacy. Because it connects with vulnerability, shame, and fear of not being good enough. People with abandonment issues often stay in unhealthy or toxic relationships. They may also have a hard time leaving a relationship even if it is not healthy for them.
Weak boundaries
Abandonment issues in relationships are often the result of weak boundaries. If you have trouble saying no or setting limits with your partner, it may be because you’re afraid of abandonment.
- Do you often comply with your partner’s demands even if you don’t want to?
- Do you find yourself making excuses for your partner’s bad behavior?
- Are you people pleasing at the expense of your own needs?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you likely have weak boundaries. This means that you allow your partner to cross your boundaries and take advantage of you. As a result, you end up feeling used, manipulated, and unloved. Although if you have established boundaries with your partner, it may feel like you’re pushing them away, in the long run, it will be much healthier for both of you.
Lack of trust
One of the most common abandonment issues in relationships is a lack of trust. If you don’t trust your partner, it can be very difficult to feel secure in the relationship. Also, it is difficult to feel close to someone if you don’t trust them. If you have trust issues, it is important to work on building trust in your relationship.
For instance, it might be difficult to feel secure if your partner goes out with friends and doesn’t include you. If this is something that bothers you, talk to your partner about it. Express how you feel and why it makes you feel insecure. Also, try to be understanding if your partner wants to go out without you sometimes.
But still, if you are so delved into the abandonment issues it’s preventing you from enjoying your relationship. It might be a good idea to seek professional help. Trust is a fundamental part of any successful relationship, so if you’re having trouble with it, get some help.
Being sensitive
It is somehow obvious that people with abandonment issues are quite sensitive. They tend to be oversensitive to any kind of changes in the behavior of their partner that might be a sign of potential abandonment. This makes them very prone to anxiety and fear which can lead to all sorts of relationship problems.
For example, if you are constantly feeling like:
- your partner is cheating on you
- they are going to leave you
- they don’t really love you
- you overreact to their every move
This is not to say that all sensitive people have abandonment issues, but it is a common trait among them. If you find yourself constantly worrying about your partner’s behavior and overanalyzing things. Then, it will definitely go to put a lot of strain on your relationship.
So, these are overall some of the most common abandonment issues in relationships that people face. If you think you might have any of these issues, then it is important to work on them. Because if not, they will only keep causing problems in your relationship.
And remember, even if you don’t have any abandonment issues, it is always good to communicate with your partner about your feelings and what you need from the relationship. This will make your relationship stronger and help avoid any misunderstanding.
How To Overcome With Abandonment Issues In Relationships?
When you are in a relationship, it is important to be able to trust your partner. Unfortunately, for some people, this can be a difficult task. If you have been hurt in the past, it can be hard to let go of that pain and move on. However, if you are carrying around baggage from previous relationships, it will only make it harder for you to find happiness in your current one.
There are many different types of abandonment issues that can manifest themselves in a relationship. If you are struggling with any of these, it is important to seek out help so that you can overcome them. Here are some tips to overcome abandonment issues in relationships:
Talk to your partner about your feelings
It is important to communicate with your partner about what you are feeling. If you are feeling insecure or anxious, tell them. This will help them to understand and be more supportive. When you share your feelings with your partner, it will help build trust and make your relationship stronger.
Because trust is essential in any relationship. If you are having trouble trusting your partner, it is important to talk to them about it. They need to be aware of your concerns and they should be willing to work with you to build trust.
Identify your triggers
Abandonment issues can be triggered by certain things. It is important to identify what these triggers are so that you can avoid them. If you know that seeing your partner talk to someone else makes you feel jealous, try to avoid situations where this might happen. If you know that being left alone makes you feel anxious, try to find ways to stay busy when you are by yourself.
Work on yourself
In order to overcome abandonment issues, you need to work on building up your self-esteem. This means accepting yourself for who you are, faults and all. Once you can do that, you’ll be less likely to look for validation from others and will be more content in your own skin. In addition to working on your self-esteem, it’s also important to become more independent.
Because when you become more independent and improve your self-esteem, you become more content with yourself and your life. This newfound contentment allows you to weather the storms of relationships, should they arise, without being pulled under by your abandonment issues.
Practice self-compassion
One way to start overcoming your abandonment issues is to practice self-compassion. This means being kind and understanding towards yourself when you make mistakes or feel like you’re not good enough. It also means recognizing that everyone has flaws and that nobody is perfect. By showing yourself some compassion, you’ll be less likely to dwell on your own shortcomings and be more likely to forgive yourself – and others – for theirs.
Meditate on your own worth
It is one of the most difficult things to do, but it is worth it. When you can see your own value and appreciate yourself for who you are, then you will be less likely to need validation from others. There will be no reason to pursue someone who does not want to be pursued. You will know that you are worthy of love and respect and that you don’t need to put up with anything less.
Seek professional help
If you are in a relationship and think you may have abandonment issues, seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your fears and improve your relationships. There are also many helpful books on the subject. Reading about other people’s experiences with abandonment can be very beneficial.
It can help you realize that you are not alone in your feelings. And that there are other people who have overcome them. With professional help and some effort on your part, you can overcome your abandonment issues and have healthy, happy relationships.
Conclusion
To conclude, abandonment issues in relationships are not uncommon. If you or your partner are dealing with any of these issues, know that you are not alone. There are ways to work through these issues and come out stronger on the other side. With patience, understanding, and communication, anything is possible.
Moreover, if you are in a relationship with someone who has abandonment issues. Remember to be patient and understand that they may need more time, attention, and reassurance than others. Don’t take it personally if they seem distant or guarded at times. Just be there for them and let them know that you are not going anywhere.
For more information, please contact MantraCare. Relationships are an essential part of human life. It is the connection between people, and it helps us to form social bonds, understand and empathize with others. If you have any queries regarding Online Relationship Counseling experienced therapists at MantraCare can help: Book a trial therapy session
