Are you in a controlling relationship? Signs of a controlling boyfriend can be difficult to identify, but once they are recognized it is important to take action. In this blog post, we will discuss signs and strategies for dealing with a potential controlling partner.
- 1 What It Is To Be In A Controlling Relationship?
- 2 What Are The Signs Of A Controlling Boyfriend?
- 2.1 They Make All The Decisions For Both Of You
- 2.2 Your Significant Other Is Always Jealous Of Your Friends Or Family
- 2.3 Your Partner Threatens You
- 2.4 Your Partner Controls Your Money
- 2.5 You Are Isolated From Family And Friends
- 2.6 Your Partner Makes You Feel Guilty
- 2.7 Your Partner Uses Threats To Gain Control Of You
- 2.8 Your Partner Controls What You Do In Your Own Home
- 2.9 You Are Afraid To Disagree With Your Partner
- 2.10 The Relationship Is Unhealthy And Abusive
- 3 How Being In A Controlling Relationship Can Affect You?
- 4 Why Is Being In A Controlling Relationship Bad For You?
- 5 How To Set Boundaries In A Controlling Relationship?
- 6 If You Don’t Feel Safe, What Are Your Options?
- 7 If You Are In A Controlling Relationship, There Is Help
- 8 Codependency And Controlling Relationships
- 9 Conclusion
- 10 A Word From Mantra Care
What It Is To Be In A Controlling Relationship?
There is no one answer to this question as every relationship is different. However, some general characteristics of a controlling relationship include the following:
- One person tries to control all aspects of the other person’s life,
- There is frequent verbal aggression and/or violence, and
- The abusive partner often isolates the victim from friends and family
Why Does Someone Need To Control?
Controlling behavior can stem from several different causes. In many cases, the issue may be an untreated mental illness such as paranoia or narcissism. For others, controlling people may be using it to compensate for their insecurities and low self-esteem: they feel nervous about depending on someone else and so try to take charge of the relationship to feel more in control.
What Are The Signs Of A Controlling Boyfriend?
The following are some signs you may be in a controlling relationship:
They Make All The Decisions For Both Of You
Your partner makes all the decisions, tells you what to wear and who your friends should be; he/she dictates spending money and time together. Your significant other may accuse you of cheating or flirting with someone else without any evidence. This type of behavior is usually accompanied by verbal abuse and insults.
Your Significant Other Is Always Jealous Of Your Friends Or Family
When a person is in a controlling relationship, their significant other will often be jealous of others who influence them. This can include friends and family members as well as coworkers or classmates. To avoid problems with your boyfriend/girlfriend, it is important to limit the amount of time you spend with these people.
Your Partner Threatens You
If your partner is threatening or intimidating you, this is a clear sign that the relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Verbal threats can include telling you that they will hurt or kill you, as well as threats to take away your children or pets. Physical threats may include violence or even homicide.
Your Partner Controls Your Money
If your partner is preventing you from working or controlling how much money you have, this is a sign of a very unhealthy and abusive relationship. A controller will often want to be the only one who has access to the family finances to have more control over you.
You Are Isolated From Family And Friends
If your partner is isolating you from family and friends, this is a very serious sign of an abusive relationship. A controller will often try to cut off all communication with the people who care about you to have more control over you. This can include canceling plans at the last minute or refusing to let you leave the house.
Your Partner Makes You Feel Guilty
If you try to stand up for yourself or disagree with your partner, they may make you feel guilty by saying things such as “I’m only trying to help you” or “You’re being selfish.” This is a way of making you doubt your feelings and perceptions.
Your Partner Uses Threats To Gain Control Of You
If your partner is threatening to hurt or kill you, this is a sign that the relationship has gone too far. Even if these threats are not carried out, they can still be very damaging to someone’s self-esteem. If it feels like there is no way out of the relationship, it is important to seek help from a trusted friend or family member, or a professional.
Your Partner Controls What You Do In Your Own Home
If your partner is telling you what to do in your own home, this is another sign that you are in a controlling and abusive relationship. A controller will often want to be the one who makes all the decisions, even small ones. This can include what you cook for dinner or what time you go to bed.
You Are Afraid To Disagree With Your Partner
If you are afraid to disagree with your partner, this is a sign that the relationship is unhealthy and abusive. A controller will often try to isolate you from anyone else who may disagree with them, and then use guilt or other tactics to make you believe they are right.
The Relationship Is Unhealthy And Abusive
If your partner is using any of these behaviors against you, it is a clear sign that the relationship has become unhealthy and abusive. This can be extremely damaging to your self-esteem, and it is important to seek help from a trusted friend or family member, or a professional.
How Being In A Controlling Relationship Can Affect You?
When someone is in a controlling relationship, they often lose touch with their feelings and opinions. This can lead to codependency, where the person begins to rely on their partner for approval and validation.
Being in a controlling relationship can also lead to depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It can have several negative effects on your physical and emotional health. Some of these may include the following:
- You experience anxiety or depression due to the stress of the relationship
- You have low self-esteem and feel unworthy
- You have a fear of abandonment
- Your isolation from friends and family due to the abuser’s jealous behavior
The abusive partner may also target other family members or friends to isolate you from others. This type of controlling behavior can lead the victim to seek psychological help for their mental health issues.
NOTE: If you are feeling unsafe or like you are in danger, it is important to seek help from a trusted friend or family member, or a professional.
Why Is Being In A Controlling Relationship Bad For You?
Being in a controlling relationship can be very damaging to someone’s mental health. Some of the effects that it can have on you include:
- It makes you feel unworthy and low self-esteem because your partner is constantly putting you down through their words or actions
- You may experience anxiety, depression, PTSD due to the stress of the relationship
- You may feel like you are a prisoner in your own home due to the controlling behavior of your partner
- Your partner may isolate you from friends and family members, leading you to have no one to turn to for support
- The abuser may also target other family members or friends so that you have no one left to rely on
NOTE: While it may feel good to have someone take care of everything for you, this type of relationship is pretty bad for your mental health. If the person who loves you treats you like a child or an object instead of respecting your independence and freedom, then there are serious problems in the relationship. In addition, it can be draining to always have someone trying to control you.
How To Set Boundaries In A Controlling Relationship?
To set boundaries for a controlling person, you need to first understand why they are behaving this way. Once you have identified the cause, you can start setting limits on their behavior.
Now the next step is to set boundaries. This means that you need to start standing up for yourself and your rights. You can do this by doing the following:
- Tell your partner how you feel and what behaviors are making you uncomfortable
- You can also ask them to stop these behaviors that are making you uncomfortable
- If they continue the behavior, then it is time for you to leave the relationship and move on with your life
If setting boundaries does not work at first, do not give up. There may be times when your partner will try harder than others to make you feel uncomfortable in your relationship. It is important to stick with boundaries and keep setting them if the behavior continues. If they still won’t stop, then it may be time for you to end things between you two.
NOTE: If your partner has an untreated mental illness, then it is important to get them help from a professional. In other cases, the victim may need to set boundaries themselves and stand up for their rights
If You Don’t Feel Safe, What Are Your Options?
If you don’t feel safe in a controlling relationship, then it is important to seek help from someone who can support you. Your family and friends may be the first place that you turn to for this type of help since they care about your well-being. If those options do not work out or if things become too dangerous, then it is time for you to seek help from a professional.
- First, talk with your doctor or mental health provider about the relationship and what you are going through. You may want to speak with them before reaching out if that makes you feel more comfortable. They can recommend different treatment options to get back on track when dealing with controlling behavior.
- If you are feeling unsafe, there are also legal steps that can be taken to protect yourself. You may want to consider talking with a lawyer about the different options available to you and what would be the best fit for your situation. It is important to remember that you have rights and should not feel afraid to take action if needed.
NOTE: It is also important to seek out help from friends and family members, as well as a counselor or therapist.
Legal Steps That You Can Take
If someone has been abusive towards you, then there are legal steps that can be taken to protect yourself. You can begin by doing the following:
- Start keeping a record of everything that has happened in your relationship, including texts or emails from your partner
- You may also want to keep track of any incidents where they have been violent towards you
- If you are being stalked or harassed, then it is important to call the police and file a report
NOTE: If you are feeling unsafe, it is important to reach out to a friend or family member for support. You can also call a helpline in your area that specializes in helping victims of abuse.
If You Are In A Controlling Relationship, There Is Help
If you are in a controlling relationship and feel like there is no way out, it is important to realize that this type of behavior is not acceptable and you do have options. Talk to your family members or friends about the situation. They may be able to help you find the resources that you need. Some therapists and counselors can assist with setting boundaries for your partner.
Codependency And Controlling Relationships
Codependent relationships are often characterized by one person being in control and the other person being submissive. This can be a dangerous combination, as the controlling partner will have even more power to manipulate and abuse their significant other. If you feel like you are in this type of relationship, it is important to speak up and take action.
For many people, being in an abusive relationship is hard to recognize due to the manipulation and control that occurs. However, if your partner shows any of these signs above, it may be time to reevaluate the situation before more damage is done.
If you feel like your boyfriend/girlfriend is becoming controlling or abusive, then there are steps that you can take to ensure your safety. It is important to realize that this type of behavior is not acceptable and that you do have rights.
Furthermore, sometimes it is important to seek help from a professional or support group. You deserve to be happy and safe in your relationships, and there is hope for change.
A Word From Mantra Care
Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.