10 Ways to Deal With A Self-Loathing Narcissist

Do you have a friend, family member, or co-worker who constantly puts you down and makes you feel like you’re not good enough? If so, then you may be dealing with a self-loathing narcissist. These individuals are incredibly difficult to deal with and often make their victims feel like they’re nothing. If you’re struggling to cope with a self-loathing narcissist, here are 10 tips that can help!

Who Is Self-Loathing Narcissist?

A self-loathing narcissist is a term used to describe someone who suffers from both narcissism and self-loathing. Narcissism is defined as having an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Self-loathing is defined as hating oneself or being unhappy with oneself.

A self-loathing narcissist is someone who not only has an inflated sense of self-importance but also hates themselves. They are unhappy with themselves and feel like they need admiration from others to feel good about themselves. More often, this condition is defined as having narcissistic personality disorder with comorbid depression.

Some common signs of a self-loathing narcissist include:

• Never satisfied with anything they have and are always looking for something better.
• Constantly putting themselves down and criticizing themselves.
• Have a fear of rejection and being alone.
• Need constant validation and approval from others.
• Very sensitive to criticism.
• Have a hard time taking responsibility for their own actions.
• Blame others for their own failures.
• Have a sense of entitlement and feel like they deserve special treatment.
• Always comparing themselves to others and feeling like they are not good enough.

These are some common signs that someone may be a self-loathing narcissist. If you or someone you know is exhibiting these signs, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional. There are many ways to deal with a self-loathing narcissist. Let’s further discuss some of those below.

Top 10 Tips To Deal With A Self-Loathing Narcissist

There are several things you can do to deal with a self-loathing narcissist. Here are a few tips:

Educate yourself about narcissistic personality disorder

If you want to understand self-loathing narcissists better, then you should educate yourself about narcissistic personality disorder. This will help you see that their behavior is not personal. It is just a result of their disorder. And, it will help you have more compassion for them. Studies have found that people who have narcissistic personality disorder tend to have a lot of unresolved childhood trauma. So, try to remember that when you are dealing with a self-loathing narcissist.

There are several ways through which you can get information about narcissistic personality disorder. You can read books, and articles, or even talk to a mental health professional. Just focus on gathering as much information as you can.

Avoid taking things personally

A self-loathing narcissist is someone who is very critical of themselves. They are always finding fault in themselves. As a result, they tend to be very critical of others as well. Avoid taking things personally when dealing with a self-loathing narcissist. Because they might be saying things that they don’t even mean. For instance, they may call you lazy or stupid. But, they are really just projecting their own self-loathing onto you.

In fact, studies have found that self-loathing narcissists are more likely to lash out at others. So, if you can avoid taking things personally, then it will be easier for you to deal with a self-loathing narcissist. Because they do this in order to feel better about themselves.

Don’t get drawn into their drama

A self-loathing narcissist loves to create drama. They might try to involve you in their drama by making you feel sorry for them or by trying to make you feel like you are the cause of their problems. Don’t get drawn into their drama. It will only make you feel worse and it won’t help them in the long run.

Moreover, their drama is usually a way for them to avoid dealing with their own self-loathing. They might create things that are not even there. So, don’t get caught up in it. You just need to focus on yourself and your own life.

Validate their feelings

It is often believed that narcissists don’t have any feelings. But, this is not true. Narcissists are actually very sensitive and they do have feelings. They just don’t know how to deal with their feelings in a healthy way. When you are dealing with a self-loathing narcissist, validate their feelings. This will help them feel heard and understood. And, it might even help them start to deal with their own self-loathing.

For instance, you can try:

• Saying something like, “I can see that you are feeling really frustrated.”
• Asking them how they are feeling and then listening to what they have to say.
• Telling them that it is okay to feel the way they do.

The self-loathing narcissist tends to bottle up their feelings. As a result, they might lash out at others or they might try to hurt themselves. So you can encourage them to express their feelings in a healthy way.

Don’t try to change or fix them

This is something you should never do when dealing with anyone, but it is especially important when dealing with a self-loathing narcissist. Trying to change or fix them will only make them feel worse about themselves. And, it will likely make them take their self-loathing out on you. Because if you try to change or fix them, you are essentially telling them that there is something wrong with them. And, no one wants to hear that.

Sometimes, the condition can be dangerous when you try to fix them. So you should not try this until there are signs that they want to change themselves. If you try to do it too early, then it might backfire and make the situation worse.

Set boundaries

It is important to set boundaries when dealing with a self-loathing narcissist. Because they will try to take advantage of you if you don’t. They might try to emotionally or verbally abuse you. Or, they might try to manipulate you into doing things that you don’t want to do. So, it is important to set boundaries and stick to them. For instance, you can say something like, “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” Or, “I’m not going to do that for you.”

Focus on your own wellbeing

When you are dealing with a self-loathing narcissist, it is important to focus on your own wellbeing. This means taking care of yourself emotionally and mentally. It might mean spending time with friends or family who make you feel good about yourself. Or, it might mean doing things that make you happy. Whatever it is, make sure you are focusing on your own wellbeing. And, don’t forget to take a break from the self-loathing narcissist from time to time. For this you can do:

• Go for a walk in nature.
• Spend time with friends or family.
• Do something you enjoy, like reading, painting, or listening to music.
• Talk to a therapist about how you are feeling.

Speak up for yourself

This might sound difficult as self-loathing narcissists can be very intimidating. But, it is important to speak up for yourself when dealing with a self-loathing narcissist. This will help you set boundaries and it will also help you assert yourself. For instance, if they are trying to manipulate you into doing something, you can say something like, “I’m not going to do that.” Or, if they are trying to gaslight you, you can say something like, “I know what I saw/heard.”

Find a support system

It is essential thing to have a support system when dealing with a self-loathing narcissist. This can be friends, family, or even a therapist. Having people to talk to who understand what you are going through can be very helpful. And, it can help you stay sane while dealing with a self-loathing narcissist. Also, you should understand that you are not responsible for fixing the self-loathing narcissist. And, you should not feel guilty for getting help for yourself.

Talk to a therapist

If you are struggling to deal with a self-loathing narcissist, then you might want to talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you understand what you are dealing with. And, they can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms. Talking to a therapist can be very helpful when dealing with a self-loathing narcissist. There are several types of therapies that are found to be helpful when dealing with narcissism. These include:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy
• Dialectical behavior therapy
• Schema-focused therapy

This is advised to be done in order to understand what you are dealing with. If you try to fix them, then it might backfire and make the situation worse.

So, these are the top 10 ways that you can deal with a self-loathing narcissist. If you are dealing with a self-loathing narcissist, then hopefully these tips will be helpful for you. Remember to take care of yourself first and foremost. And, don’t forget to seek out support from friends, family, or a therapist if you need it. Gradually, you will be able to cope with the self-loathing narcissist in your life.

Conclusion

A self-loathing narcissist can be a difficult person to deal with. They may seem confident and self-assured, but underneath they are insecure and lack self-esteem. If you find yourself in a relationship with a self-loathing narcissist, there are some things you can do to try to help them. But only if they are willing to help themselves.

You can help them in many ways but at first, you would want to get to know them. Once you understand how they think, feel, and behave, it will be easier to help them change their ways. Also, your primary concern should be taking care of yourself because a self-loathing narcissist can be emotionally and mentally draining.

For more tips and information you can contact Mantra Care. Our team of experts will help you deal with a self-loathing narcissist in the best way possible. Mantra Care is here to help you every step of the way. If you or someone you know is struggling with a self-loathing narcissist, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. You can also book a therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.