- 1 What Is Being Intense?
- 2 How Does Intensity Affect People?
- 3 Signs Of An Intense Person
- 4 The Benefits of Being Intense
- 5 The Downsides of Being Intense
- 6 Ways to Deal With Intensity in Your Life
- 7 Different Cultures And Being Intense
- 8 How Women Are Told to Handle Their Intensity?
- 9 How To Deal With An Intense Person?
- 9.1 1. Talk to the Intense Person
- 9.2 2. Ask Them How They Want To Deal With These Emotions
- 9.3 3. Don’t Take It Personally
- 9.4 4. Know When to Step Back
- 9.5 5. Let Them Know You’re There For Them
- 9.6 6. Don’t Minimize Their Feelings
- 9.7 7. Be A Good Listener
- 9.8 8. Let The Person Take Responsibility For Their Own Emotions
- 10 Conclusion
- 11 A Word From MantraCare
What Is Being Intense?
Intensity can be both good and terrible at times, but it’s something most of us deal with in some way, shape, or form. Some people are more intense than others. There is a difference between being intense in that you have a high-energy personality. And being intense in that you are often tensing up your muscles or running hot with rage. Intensity can be both good and terrible at times. But it’s something most of us deal with in some way, shape, or form.
How Does Intensity Affect People?
Intensity can affect people in many different ways. And it is important to be aware of this in order to know the best way to respond when interacting with a person who is intense. The most common effect that intensity has on people is that it slows them down and makes them reserved. But we also see the opposite with some people becoming more chatty and animated when they are intense. Intense people can also feel like their emotions are magnified. And they may become very sensitive or easily spooked by loud noises, for example. Lastly, intense people may find it difficult to control their behavior. Such as sitting still or moderating what they say.
Intensity occurs in many forms and examples include:
- A person perspiring heavily after walking up a flight of stairs.
- A person screaming very loudly at other people.
- A dog barks loudly for a long time even when no one is around to hear it.
People who experience intense emotions can have both positive and negative effects on other people. For example, someone who feels angry about an issue may make another person angry too. However, the person who feels angry will also feel better afterward because they were able to express their feelings. On the other hand, a person who experiences intense sadness may cause another person to feel sad as well and this will not help the person experiencing the feelings of sadness.
Signs Of An Intense Person
These are some common signs of an intense person-
- Intense people are usually in a rush
- Have a hard time relaxing and don’t know how to take it easy
- Often overthink things
- Can be moody or irritable at times, but they also have an intense passion for life
- Intense people always want to do more than what’s expected of them and will go above and beyond the call of duty if necessary
- And finally, intense people might not seem like much fun when you first meet them – but once you get to know them, they’re one of the best friends you’ll ever make!
- If you are a “doer,” if you have a hard time relaxing, and if you know that your friends will describe you as intense, then congratulations – you are an intense person.
Although it may seem like being so driven might be a good thing, sometimes being an intense person can lead to stress, low self-esteem, and other negative feelings.
The Benefits of Being Intense
Passionate – Your intensity can make you passionate about your job or in your hobbies, which is good for making work enjoyable and pushing yourself to improve in your favorite activities.
High energy – Being intense gives people a lot of high energy, which is great when it comes to doing things that require a lot of movement, like when you are dancing or working out.
Driven – Your tenacity is attractive to others. People are drawn to you because they know that once you set your mind on something it will happen no matter what! You can use this drive in your work or in your relationships, though sometimes the intensity makes people uncomfortable.
The Downsides of Being Intense
Anger – When you get angry, it can be difficult to control the intensity behind that anger. You might lash out or yell loudly when you are feeling intense emotions rather than calmly discussing the situation with someone else.
Pressure – Sometimes you feel pressure from others to act a certain way or do specific things, and it can be difficult to deal with.
Stress – When you are feeling intense emotions, it’s easy for those feelings of stress or anxiety to increase as well. You may feel like you want to blow up or run away from the situation by leaving the room, which is something that can put a strain on your relationships.
Panic attack – If you suffer from anxiety, you might have a panic attack when feeling intense emotions and that can be extremely frightening and confusing for both you and the people around you.
Ways to Deal With Intensity in Your Life
Learn self-care skills– Learning to take care of yourself is the best way to deal with the intensity of your emotions. Spend time alone, learn ways to relax, find hobbies that you enjoy doing by yourself (music, drawing, reading), and make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, and drinking enough water.
Use mindfulness/meditation– Practicing mindfulness or meditation to work on focusing your mind and bringing yourself back into the present can help you deal with intense emotions. Taking the time to stop, breathe deeply, and focus on what is happening in the moment can help you feel more relaxed and therefore less intense.
Talk about it– Sometimes just talking about an intense emotion instead of bottling it up is a great way to feel better. Let people know how you feel, what is going on in your head and that you want to find a solution together.
Talk to a therapist– A therapist can help you work through intense emotions and get the support that you need from an unbiased professional who won’t judge your feelings or tell you what to do.
Do something relaxing every day– Taking time to do something that you enjoy every day can help balance out intense emotions. Whether it’s taking a walk, reading, coloring in a coloring book, dancing, watching movies at home alone with some snacks, or anything else that makes you feel relaxed and confident!
Limit your caffeine intake– Caffeine can make intense emotions much worse by increasing your anxiety and stress levels.
Limit your alcohol intake– Drinking alcohol can worsen intense emotions, especially anger or sadness.
Take control of your thoughts– When you are feeling intense emotions, sometimes it can be hard to think clearly or act rationally. Be aware of negative self-talk that might be fueling these strong
Write about your feelings to reduce anxiety– Sometimes the best way to deal with intense emotions is just to get them out on paper. Writing about what you are feeling can make it easier for you to process how you are thinking and feeling, which makes these feelings less scary or overwhelming.
Different Cultures And Being Intense
There are different norms in different cultures when it comes to being intense. So it’s important to be aware of the people around you!
Different cultures deal with intensity differently depending on what is considered normal for their society. Some societies encourage people to be more open about their feelings while others encourage people to ignore what is going on and tough it out. Make sure you check with your doctor about how healthy the intensity of your emotions has been before working on self-care skills for dealing with intense feelings.
– In some cultures, the emotional intensity is seen as an attractive quality. Because it means that person has passion, drive, and desire. These are all good qualities in this culture.
– In other cultures, the emotional intensity is seen as dangerous or frightening. Because it means that someone might lash out in anger, yell loudly, and cause problems. When they aren’t happy with something.
How Women Are Told to Handle Their Intensity?
– Women are told that their “intense” emotions make them hysterical and difficult to deal with. Sometimes their emotional intensity is seen as a flaw. Especially because women are often expected to be calm and collected at all times.
– Women are told that they need to stop being so emotional and be objective when discussing situations or problems. They are encouraged to separate themselves from their feelings in order to appear more rational during discussions.
– Women need to talk things out with someone when they are feeling emotional. They need to express their feelings verbally during heated or emotional moments. Otherwise, it means there is something seriously wrong with them.
How To Deal With An Intense Person?
Intensity can be handled in many ways. These are some common ways-
1. Talk to the Intense Person
If you think someone close to you might be feeling intense emotions, it’s a good idea to check in with them and ask how they’re feeling. If they’re not able to talk about it yet, that’s ok! Just being there for them is a huge help.
Once you have talked with them, you can then try suggesting coping skills. It could be as simple as giving them a hug or sending them an article online to read on their own.
2. Ask Them How They Want To Deal With These Emotions
Some people may want to cry it out while others might want to scream into their pillow. But everyone is different. Find out what the person wants to do and then help them accomplish it. It is important to be aware of how people who are intense can affect you. And the ways that they will do so include slowing down your pace, making you reserved, intensifying your emotions. And affecting your behavior.
3. Don’t Take It Personally
Emotional intensity is not always a sign of personal criticism or judgment. So don’t take the person’s negative or strong emotions as something that is your fault. Sometimes emotional intensity can be a defense mechanism to keep people at arm’s length; other times it’s just the result of an overwhelming moment.
4. Know When to Step Back
If you are starting to feel like your loved one is taking their intensity out on you. Then give them some time alone. Don’t be afraid to tell them that you need some space or that you want to give them some time alone to calm down.
5. Let Them Know You’re There For Them
Sometimes just saying, “if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you” is enough. It will let the person know that they can come to you when they are ready to discuss what’s going on.
6. Don’t Minimize Their Feelings
While intensity is seen as a flaw in some cultures, it’s important to realize that intense feelings are never wrong. When someone is feeling intense emotions, they need validation and a reminder that their feelings are real.
7. Be A Good Listener
There is a difference between being a good listener and taking responsibility for someone’s feelings. If the person tells you that they are feeling overwhelmed. Then just let them talk it out. Don’t try to fix or change their emotions, just be there as an ear.
8. Let The Person Take Responsibility For Their Own Emotions
While it’s important to be there for someone if they are feeling intense emotions. It’s equally as important to let the person take some responsibility for their own feelings. While you can talk with them about how to deal with their emotions. At the same time, asking them what they want to do or giving your opinion on how you think they should handle things is taking responsibility away from them.
Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes, even you. Just be there to listen and help out if they need it. It’s not your job to judge or try to change the person’s emotions.
If you are in a relationship with an intense person. It can be difficult to understand what they want or need. It’s important not to take their emotions personally and instead try your best to listen. If the intensity gets overwhelming for either of you. It might be wise to step back from each other. So that both parties have time alone. The most helpful thing someone can do is just offer support. Even if there isn’t anything else they can do about the situation at hand. Intense people deserve love too.
A Word From MantraCare
Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.