Living with a narcissist can be difficult. Narcissists are often charming and charismatic when they want something, but they can also be manipulative, demanding, and cruel. If you are currently living with or dating a narcissist, you may be feeling confused and alone. You may not know how to make the relationship work or how to get out of it. In this blog post, we will discuss some tips for coping with narcissism and surviving an abusive relationship.
Contents
- 1 What Is Narcissism?
- 2 Top 18 Tips To Survive Narcissism
- 2.1 Avoid arguments
- 2.2 Set boundaries
- 2.3 Ignore the insults
- 2.4 Don’t take it personally
- 2.5 Try to understand their behavior
- 2.6 Don’t enable their bad behavior
- 2.7 Keep your own interests
- 2.8 Build a support network
- 2.9 Detach yourself from them
- 2.10 Focus on your own happiness
- 2.11 Never show that you’re upset
- 2.12 Practice self-talk
- 2.13 Be polite
- 2.14 Opt for ‘NO’ to their criticism
- 2.15 Focus on other relationships
- 2.16 Stand up for yourself
- 2.17 Practice self-care
- 2.18 Seek professional help
- 3 Conclusion
What Is Narcissism?
Narcissism is described as an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a great need for admiration. Narcissists are often described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. These people are believed to be unable to handle criticism or setbacks.
In simple words, narcissists can be annoying and difficult to deal with. If you have a narcissist in your life, it is important to understand their behavior patterns. In fact, it is crucial to know how to deal with a narcissist in order to avoid being taken advantage of or manipulated by them. It is to be noticed here that NPD and narcissism are not the same.
NPD is a mental disorder that can be diagnosed by a professional, whereas narcissism is a set of traits and behaviors that may or may not be indicative of a mental disorder. Nevertheless, both NPD and narcissism can make life difficult for those around them. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you may have noticed some pretty significant patterns of behavior. For example, your partner:
- Regularly puts you down or criticizes you
- Is jealous or controlling
- Tries to manipulate or control you
- Is always the center of attention
- Has a sense of entitlement
- Takes advantage of you
- Is extremely sensitive to criticism
- Lacks empathy
- Is preoccupied with power or success
If these signs sound familiar, you may be wondering how to deal with a narcissist. But don’t worry, we’re here to help. Below are some tips to help you survive narcissism.
Top 18 Tips To Survive Narcissism
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, there are some things you can do to protect yourself and survive the narcissistic abuse. Here are 15 tips:
Avoid arguments
This is one of the most important tips. Narcissists love to argue and will try to pick fights with you just for the sake of it. If you can avoid getting into arguments, it will go a long way in surviving narcissism. You need to understand that narcissists tend to be very manipulative. They will try to twist your words and make you look bad in any argument. So, it is best to just avoid them.
Moreover, arguments will make things worse and can escalate into physical violence. So, if you want to survive narcissism, it is best to avoid arguments. For example, you can say something like “I don’t want to argue with you, I just want to understand what you are saying.”
Set boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is something that you should do regardless of whether you’re dealing with a narcissist or not. However, it’s especially important when you are. Narcissists often try to take advantage of people and push the boundaries that are set for them. By setting clear boundaries, you can make it more difficult for them to do this.
One boundary that you might want to set is a limit on how much time you’re willing to spend with them. If they’re always trying to monopolize your time, tell them that you’re only available for a certain amount of time each week. This will help to prevent them from draining all of your energy.
Another thing that you might want to consider is setting boundaries on what topics you’re willing to discuss with them. If they’re always trying to bring up negative things, or if they’re constantly talking about themselves, let them know that you’re not going to tolerate that behavior.
So, with these examples, you can choose what kind of boundaries work for you, in your situation. You can also be creative in thinking up other ways to set boundaries with a narcissist.
Ignore the insults
It is hard to do, but try to ignore the insults when they come. It is not easy, but if you can manage it, it will be worth it in the long run. Narcissists love to get a reaction out of people, and if you can avoid giving them one, it will take away their power. More often you should give priority to your self-respect over their opinion of you.
You should ignore their opinion about you and their insults. Because they actually have a low opinion of themselves, they are just trying to bring you down to their level. So, don’t give them the satisfaction and keep your head up high.
Don’t take it personally
There are times when a narcissist might say or do something that really hurts you. It might feel like they’re doing it on purpose, but it’s important to remember that narcissists don’t think the same way we do. They genuinely believe that they are better than everyone else and that their needs should always come first.
While it’s not easy, try not to take anything a narcissist says or does personally. It’s not about you, it’s about them. However, this might sound tough, but you can do it. For example, if a narcissist criticizes you, don’t get defensive. Instead, try to understand where they’re coming from and why they might be feeling that way.
Try to understand their behavior
This is something that will take some time, but it’s important to try to understand why a narcissist does the things they do. Oftentimes, their behavior is a result of deep-seated insecurities and low self-esteem. By trying to understand their behavior, you can learn how to better deal with it.
For example, if a narcissist is constantly putting you down, it might be because they’re feeling insecure. In that case, try to build them up instead of tearing them down. However, if a narcissist is being manipulative or controlling, it’s important to set boundaries and stand up for yourself. If you are able to handle their behavior only then try to engage with them.
Don’t enable their bad behavior
One of the most important tips is to not enable the narcissist’s bad behavior. This means not making excuses for them or trying to cover up their behavior. Also, it is more about not giving them what they want. For example, if the narcissist is always demanding attention, don’t give it to them. Instead, focus on yourself and your own needs.
Furthermore, it is believed that narcissists are actually quite insecure. This means that they are constantly looking for validation and approval from others. So, if you can avoid feeding their ego, it will be a big help. One way to do this is by not complimenting them or giving them attention when they haven’t done anything to deserve it.
Keep your own interests
This is an important tip for surviving narcissism. It’s important to have your own interests and hobbies outside of the relationship. This will help you not get too wrapped up in the narcissist’s world and will give you something to focus on other than their behavior. Because when you’re constantly focused on someone else’s behavior, it can be easy to lose yourself.
It’s also important to keep your own friends and social life outside of the relationship. This is something that can be hard to do if the narcissist is always wanting to know what you’re doing and who you’re with. But it’s important to have your own life outside of the narcissist. This will help you not get too codependent on them and will give you a support system to lean on when things get tough.
Build a support network
Building your own support network is crucial for surviving narcissism. This can include friends, family, or even a therapist. Having people you can talk to who understand what you’re going through will be invaluable. In fact, it is essential to your mental health. Because a narcissist will try to isolate you from your support system, it’s important to be proactive about this.
You will need to be able to talk about the abuse you’re experiencing without feeling ashamed. Many survivors of narcissistic abuse feel like it’s their fault or that they could have prevented it. It’s important to remember that none of this is true. The only person responsible for the abuse is the narcissist. Hence, building a support system is key to helping you cope with and survive narcissism.
Detach yourself from them
It is important when surviving narcissism to detach yourself from the narcissist. This means not getting too emotionally attached to them and not letting their behavior affect you. Moreover, this is easier said than done, but it is important to remember that the narcissist is not worth your emotional pain and suffering.
For example, you can detach yourself by understanding their true nature. Narcissists are often selfish, manipulative, and lacking in empathy. They may also use you for their own gain and then discard you when they are done with you. It is important to remember that narcissists do not have your best interests at heart and that you should not allow yourself to be used by them.
Focus on your own happiness
This is another important tip for surviving narcissism. You need to focus on your own happiness and not let the narcissist control your life. Find things that make you happy and do them, regardless of what the narcissist says or does. Moreover, you should also focus on your own needs and not try to please the narcissist all the time.
It is also important to set boundaries with the narcissist. This means telling them what you will and will not tolerate from them. For example, you may need to tell them that you will no longer allow them to belittle or criticize you. Setting boundaries can be difficult, but it is necessary in order to protect yourself from the narcissist.
Never show that you’re upset
It might seem like you’re hiding your true feelings but it’s important to never show that you’re upset when you’re around a narcissist. They will use your emotional reactions against you. Also, narcissists are experts at making you feel like you’re the one who is always causing problems.
For example, if you get upset about something they did, they will turn the situation around and make you feel like you’re the one who is overreacting. They might even accuse you of being too sensitive. It’s important to stay calm and collected when you’re around a narcissist. Also, you can use humor as a defense mechanism.
Practice self-talk
Positive self-talk and more effective coping mechanisms can help you to survive narcissism. When you’re feeling down, remind yourself of your strengths and why you’re worth it. This is very essential because narcissists will try to bring you down and make you feel inferior. Self-talk is a great way to build yourself back up.
Some things you can tell yourself are:
- I am strong and I can get through this
- I am worthy of love and respect
- Also, I will not let anyone else control my life
- I am in control of my own happiness
With these things, you will more likely to have a positive outlook on life and get the tips for surviving narcissism.
Be polite
This is something that eventually will happen to all of us. It’s not fun, but it is part of life. The best way to deal with a narcissist is to be polite. Keep your cool and don’t let them get to you. Narcissists are everywhere these days. You might have one for a boss, or in your family, or as a friend. They can be hard to deal with, so you don’t have to be rude or impolite to them. Just be assertive, and don’t let them take advantage of you.
In fact, by being polite it is more likely that the narcissist will back down and leave you alone. If you are rude or aggressive, they will see it as a challenge and will want to take you on. Narcissists love nothing more than a good fight, so don’t give them one. And you just try to be the bigger person and be the better person by being polite.
Of course, there are times when you just can’t help it and you have to be rude to a narcissist. But in general, if you can, try to take the high road and be polite. It will make your life a lot easier in the long run.
Opt for ‘NO’ to their criticism
It is not uncommon for narcissists to be excessively critical. If you are the target of their criticism, opt for ‘no’. Respond with a simple “no, I don’t agree” or “I don’t think so”. This will help to diffuse the situation and take away the power that the narcissist has over you. However, the tone of your voice is important. Be sure to remain calm and confident when you say ‘no’.
For example, if a narcissist criticizes your work, you can say “No, I don’t think that’s true” or “I don’t agree with you”. Instead of getting defensive or arguing with the narcissist, simply state your position and then move on. Keep in mind that the goal is not to engage in a fight with the narcissist. The goal is to assert yourself and take away the power that the narcissist has over you.
Focus on other relationships
When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it can be easy to forget about other important people in your life. Remember that you have friends and family members who care about you and want to support you. Spend time with these people as often as you can, and confide in them about what you are going through.
Because surviving narcissism is not easy, it is important to have a support system in place. Other people can provide you with emotional stability that a narcissist cannot. In fact, when you focus on other relationships, you will more likely to feel happier and more fulfilled. So, don’t forget about your other relationships when you are dealing with a narcissist. These other people can be a valuable source of support and happiness in your life.
Stand up for yourself
Standing up for yourself is important in every aspect of life, especially when dealing with a narcissist. Remember that you have just as much right to your opinions and feelings as the narcissist does. It can be difficult to do this, especially if the narcissist is someone who is close to you, such as a family member or romantic partner.
However, it is important to remember that you are not responsible for the narcissist’s happiness or well-being. You cannot change or fix them, and trying to do so will only result in you feeling drained and exhausted. But when it comes to dealing with narcissism, healthy boundaries are essential.
Practice self-care
Self-care is essential when you are dealing with a narcissist. Make sure to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. This will help you to deal with the stress of the situation and keep your own sanity. In fact, it will give you power over the narcissist because you will be able to handle anything they throw at you. For example, some of the self-care tips include:
- Get enough sleep
- Eat healthy foods
- Exercise
- Deep breathing and meditation
- Take breaks when needed
- Spend time with supportive people
All of these things will help you to stay strong and focused while dealing with a narcissist. Remember, they want to see you weak and struggling so that they can feel better about themselves. If you can stay strong, you will be able to take away their power over you.
Seek professional help
Finally, this is something that you should consider if you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist. If you are struggling to cope, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand what is happening and give you the tools to deal with it. They provide some of the therapies that will be most effective in helping you to cope with a narcissist.
Some prominent types that can be helpful in surviving narcissism are:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This therapy helps people to understand how their thoughts and behaviors are affecting their life. It can help you to change negative thought patterns and learn new coping skills.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): This therapy focuses on teaching people how to cope with difficult emotions. It can help you to learn how to better deal with a narcissist.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): This therapy helps people to accept the things that they cannot change. It can help you to accept the fact that you are in a relationship with a narcissist and learn how to deal with it.
All of these therapies can be helpful in surviving narcissism. If you are struggling to cope, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand what is happening and give you the tools to deal with it. They provide some of the therapies that will be most effective in helping you to cope with a narcissist.
You don’t have to go through this alone and there is no shame in seeking help. If you are struggling to cope with a narcissist, reach out for help. There are people who can help you and there are resources available. You deserve to be happy and healthy in your life and relationships.
Conclusion
To conclude, surviving narcissism is basically about setting boundaries and learning to cope with someone who is difficult to deal with. It’s not easy, but it is possible. The most important thing is to take care of yourself first and foremost. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. As there are many resources and support groups available, you are not alone.
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