My Husband Has Aspergers

I have been married to my husband for a little over a year now, and I can honestly say that it has not always been easy. We met in college and he was the only person who truly understood me. My husband has Aspergers syndrome which made him socially awkward but he was still so kind and caring. It wasn’t until we got married that I realized how difficult life could be with someone with this condition.

What Does “My husband Has Aspergers” Mean?

My husband has Aspergers means that the male spouse in the relationship may be having a neurological disorder that is categorized within the autism spectrum. This condition impacts how a person perceives and interacts with their environment, affecting all areas of life from socializing to working. The symptoms can range in severity, so not everyone who has Aspergers will experience the same challenges.

Aspergers is a condition that is often misunderstood, and it can be difficult for those who have it and their loved ones. For me, having a husband with Aspergers has been both challenging and rewarding.

This also isn’t a condition that someone just “grows out of”. It’s a lifelong disorder.

Living with Aspergers can be very challenging because it is a neurological disorder that impacts how a person perceives and interacts with their environment.

Signs That Depicts My Husband Has Aspergers

There can be many signs that may depict that my husband has Aspergers.

Avoiding Eye-Contact

One common sign is that my husband often avoids making eye contact. This can be due to the fact that he may feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable in social situations. This can also be a sign that he is not interested in what the other person is saying.

Difficulty In Reading Facial Expressions

This sign can be difficult to spot if you’re not familiar with Aspergers. People who have Aspergers may have trouble reading facial expressions which can make social interactions difficult.

My husband has a hard time deciphering sarcasm and jokes. He also doesn’t always understand when someone is mad or upset. This often leads to awkward moments and misunderstandings.

Highly Sensitive To Touch Or What Others Wear

For my husband, if anyone touches his arm while talking with him, he will flinch away and seems annoyed at first. This can be difficult since people don’t always know that they’re touching someone too much without realizing it until after the fact of doing so.

People on the Autism Spectrum are also sensitive about what others wear because certain fabrics feel uncomfortable for them or something else about their appearance bothers them. My husband has told me that certain fabrics feel uncomfortable to him.

This can be a problem when the other person doesn’t realize why someone is acting differently which causes more problems for the individual with Aspergers. Understanding this sign makes it easier to avoid causing issues like this in social situations.

Repetitive Behaviors

Another sign may be repetitive behaviors. This can include things like always needing to have a specific routine, or doing the same thing over and over again.

Difficulty With Social Interactions And Conversation

People with Aspergers may also have difficulty making conversation or keeping up conversations because of how they interact socially and what topics they choose to talk about if any at all. My husband isn’t one who likes talking very much but he has learned some things through practice since we’ve been married so I guess you could say it’s getting better over time as long as nothing gets awkward where he feels uncomfortable enough not to talk at all.

Poor Motor Skills

One sign could be poor motor skills. This can manifest itself as clumsiness, problems with handwriting, or being unable to do certain tasks like tying shoelaces.

Poor Sensory Processing

My husband also has poor sensory processing, which means he can be over-sensitive or under-sensitive to sounds, smells, textures, etc. This can make everyday tasks like grocery shopping or taking a walk very difficult for him.

Having A Rigid Thinking Pattern

One sign of Aspergers is having a rigid thinking pattern. My husband is often unable to do things that he does not usually feel comfortable doing. This can be a challenge for him, especially when it comes to meeting new people or going out of his comfort zone.

Difficulty Informing Others Of His Needs

Another sign is that my husband often has difficulty informing others of his needs. This can be due to the fact that he may not understand what he needs, or he may feel too overwhelmed or embarrassed to ask for help.

Reasons Why My Husband Have Aspergers?

There can be many reasons why my husband may have Aspergers. Some of these are:

Genetics

The environment in which you are raised can have a big impact on the kind of person that you become. If both parents have Aspergers, then there is a high chance that their child will too. Their children might also inherit other genes associated with autism and mental health conditions such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.

Low Self-Esteem

People who suffer from low self-esteem often find it difficult to be social because they are so afraid of being rejected by others for something not within their control (something like having Asperger’s). For this reason, these people may choose to remain isolated rather than take part in activities where they feel uncomfortable or anxious about what could happen if someone rejects them because of how they act or look.

Stressful Life Events

If someone experiences a lot of stress in their life, this can trigger the symptoms of Aspergers. This is because when we are stressed our brains release a hormone called cortisol which can affect how we think and behave. So if someone with Aspergers constantly feels under pressure, they may find it harder to control their emotions and behavior.

High-Functioning Behavior

Not all people who have Asperger’s syndrome are low functioning. Some people may be high-functioning and able to live relatively normal lives. They may just find it difficult to understand social cues or read other people’s body language. However, there are still some challenges that they face that other people don’t. This could include problems with sensory processing, anxiety, and depression.

Challenges Faced If My Husband Has Aspergers

There can be many challenges faced if my husband has Aspergers.

Habit Changes Occur Over Time

One challenge is that over time, people with Aspergers may develop habits or routines which are not practical for their current situation. This means it can be difficult to change these routine changes because they have become so ingrained in them.

Difficulty Communicating Needs To Others

Another challenge could be difficulty communicating needs to others due to the fact that he often doesn’t know how to ask for what he wants or feels too overwhelmed by social situations. He also might take things literally and get offended when someone says something sarcastic or makes a joke about him, without understanding the humor behind it.

Sensitivity And They May Be Underestimated 

Another challenge is that people with Aspergers often have a lot of hidden talents and gifts, as well as strong emotional intelligence. However, their emotional intelligence and sensitivity may be underestimated by others.

Lack Of Awareness And Support

Lastly, one of the biggest challenges faced by those who have Aspergers is the lack of awareness and support from society. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. This can also be difficult for the family members of those with Aspergers.

Benefits In Living With Husband Who Has Aspergers

 

Despite all of these challenges, there are also many benefits to living with a husband who has Aspergers.

I Often Feel Empowered

One benefit is that I often feel empowered. Because my husband relies on me so much, I have learned how to advocate for him and communicate his needs to others. This has made me a stronger person both mentally and emotionally.

I Have Learned To Appreciate The Little Things

Another benefit is that I have learned to appreciate the little things in life. For example, if my husband takes me out on a date or makes dinner for us one night, it really means so much more than it would mean to someone without Aspergers because he has put thought and effort into doing these things.

I Have Learned Patience And Tolerance

Another benefit of living with my husband who has Asperger is learning patience and tolerance. This can be difficult at times since there are many challenges faced by those diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). However, over time, understanding their needs has become second nature to me which gives me patience when communicating his wants and needs in social situations.

I Often Feel Appreciated

I often feel appreciated by my husband. He is very loving and affectionate towards me, and he really makes an effort to let me know how much he loves me. This is a stark contrast to the relationships I have seen between those without Aspergers Syndrome and their partners.

Can Be Great Father

Another benefit is that my husband can be a great father. Even though he sometimes struggles with understanding his children, especially when they are upset or emotional, he always tries his best to help them feel better and understand their emotions.

He Is Open-Minded About Family Life

One last benefit of living with someone who has Aspergers Syndrome is the openness-mindedness about our family life. He would not have it any other way than for us to live together as one big happy family along with our three cats, dog, and baby.

Negative Effects If My Husband Has Asperger’s

There can be many negative effects if my husband has Asperger’s.

Can Feel Overwhelmed At Times

One negative effect is that I can feel overwhelmed at times. This is mainly because of the challenges we face on a daily basis, but also because I am often the one who has to take care of him and advocate for him when he cannot do it himself. It becomes very taxing at times and I need time for myself in order to recharge.

Our Relationship Is One-Sided

Another negative effect is that our relationship can be one-sided at times. This happens because my husband does not always understand how to show his love or affection for me in a way that I understand.

Can Be Stressed And Exhausted All Time

Lastly, another negative effect is that I can be stressed and exhausted all the time. This is mainly because of the challenges we face on a daily basis, but also because he does not always understand how to show his love or affection for me in a way that I understand.

How To Deal If My Husband Has Asperger’s?

There can be a number of ways to deal with this if my husband has Asperger’s.

Spend Quality Time Together

The first way to deal with the challenges faced by those diagnosed with ASD is to spend quality time together. This can include going out on dates or doing activities that he enjoys. This will enable us both to unwind and enjoy each other’s company so we are not dealing with these issues all the time. It also helps him feel valued as well. This is because I have made an effort for us to be together. It is instead of just focusing on our children or other household responsibilities.

Encourage Him To Get Help If He Needs It

Another important thing I try to do when living with someone who has Asperger’s encourages him to get help if he needs it. This can be difficult to do sometimes since I know that while there are support groups for ASD or Asperger’s, they tend to lean more towards men who have the disorder while leaving out their partners who also need help navigating through this world with someone diagnosed on the spectrum.

Ask For Help When Needed

Another way of dealing is asking for help when needed even though my husband does not always understand how best to provide me with support in situations where his actions might make things worse rather than better. However, as long as we communicate what works and doesn’t work from both sides then hopefully over time we will learn new ways of coping with these challenges together as a couple regardless of whether one partner has been formally diagnosed on the spectrum or not.

Find Ways To Laugh Together

Lastly, another way to deal with the challenges faced by those diagnosed with ASD is to find ways to laugh together. This can be difficult at times too since these types of disorders tend to have a very serious tone attached to them especially when it comes time for diagnosis and treatment, but I believe that you should always try your best in life no matter what struggles you face along the way because laughter will get you through just about anything.

Conclusion

Aspergers is a disorder that can have a lot of negative effects. This is on both the person who has it and their loved ones. There can be a number of negative effects if my husband has Asperger’s. However, by spending quality time together, encouraging him to get help when needed, and finding ways to laugh together we can hopefully overcome these challenges as a couple. We can continue living our lives to the fullest.

For more information, please contact MantraCare. Relationships are an essential part of human life. It is the connection between people, and it helps us to form social bonds, understand and empathize with others. If you have any queries regarding Online Relationship Counseling experienced therapists at MantraCare can help: Book a trial therapy session